What's on your mind?

2011-06-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

"THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED."

this is dirk. he likes his 5's high and his hair flowing. he is now an nba champion. i didn't want either of the miami heat or dallas mavericks competing for the championship, which made both conference finals difficult to watch. but i chose to align myself with dirk nowitzki, and it was the first time since the 2002-2003 season (that's when he played alongside favorite players, steve nash and nick van exel) that i had done so.

this may come as a surprise to some of you knowing that lebron james and i have been as close as best friends can be over the past few years and you may wonder why i rooted against his team. it's a bit complicated, but i would like to give a brief explanation. i've been roommates with lebron this season and we've been through a lot. he's been playing under more scrutiny than any athlete has probably ever endured and i've been his shoulder to cry on and ice cream supplier on the nights when he was ready to fold. after the chicago series, lebron was in high spirits because he shut down mvp, derrick rose, and did everything right and miami only needed 5 games to win the series. he was closing out games like he was getting paid to (which he is) and sportswriters were comparing him to michael jordan. i wanted chicago to win the series, because i had been telling lebron to give it a season to see if he really wanted to win his first championship with this miami team. you only win your first time once and do you really want to win it with juwan howard? i wouldn't either. but they won the series and he played well and seemed happy and that made me happy and i suggested that we play a game of sorry to celebrate, but also to take our minds off of basketball for a little while. he agreed. since he was in a such a good mood, i thought it would be fun to throw a few zings at him. i started to do this after the boston series to help keep him grounded. when i beat him in sorry after that series, i knelt down on one knee and did the same pose that he did after beating boston and held that position for nearly two hours. lebron laughed for about 45 minutes of that time, but then became annoyed and told me to quit playin'. this time around he asked me what color pieces i wanted to be. to answer his question, i re-enacted "the decision" and started to tell him my choice, but paused as though it was difficult, and then said "i will be taking my talents to the blue pieces," and he smiled, but i could tell he didn't care much for my joke, but i don't know when to stop, and before we sat down to play the game i pulled out some chalk powder and threw it in the air. but i had too much in my hands and it got all over the board and in lebron's eyes and when he started to yell in pain, some of the powder fell in his mouth and produced a wheezy cough, which caused a cartoonish puff of white powder to blow out of his mouth. i laughed, but lebron was furious and told me that i should quit playing and suggested that i find a new place to live. as he said that, puffs of powder continued to exit his mouth and i defensively said, "sure, that's fine, but gimme the news, not the weather, man." and then i packed up my stuff upset that lebron couldn't take a joke and more upset because i didn't know where i was going to stay. i called up my old friend, dirk, to see if i could crash at his place, but he was afraid i would distract him, but gave me jj barea's number and told me that he should have room for me. i wasn't too excited about calling, because i had engaged in some pretty intense heckling of jj when dallas visited miami during the regular season, but i ended up making the call out of desperation. turns out he wasn't too excited to hear from me either and asked, "why should i let you stay with me?" i answered, "because i'm taller than you and it will be fun."

my moving in with jj barea proved to be detrimental to his offensive productivity during the first half of the series. the reason why was before game 1 in miami, the two of us rented rollerblades so we could blade along the miami beaches and impress women with our tricks and shirtless beach bodies, but i don't know any tricks and my shirtless beach body is nowhere near what it should be, so i was going to film jj with my shirt on and then post the videos on youtube so he could not only impress women in person, but also electronically. we had the option to rent wrist guards and jj was looking like he wanted to and started talking about something in his contract that forbids extreme sports during the season, but i told him that we didn't need them and that it was just more money and how they would have made us look less cool. he was still nervous about it, but since he would have been the only one wearing them, he didn't rent the wrist guards. we started to cruise down the boardwalk and i spotted a bench that is perfect for doing women-impressing rollerblade tricks. jj gave himself some room to obtain proper speed and eventual air and i got the camera ready. jj rolled right up to the bench and jumped over it, clearing it with ease. there were three girls that were watching and they about lost their minds after he landed the jump. one of them walked up to me and asked, "how long have you guys been aggressive inline skating?" and i thought she was serious so i told her, "i can't speak for jj, but i've been doing this off and on for about 15 years." and she laughed in my face and i could smell that she had just finished some taco bell. and since she was making fun of us, i asked her how long she had been eating cheesy bean & rice burritos from taco bell. she told me i had some nerve asking a question like that. and i told her she had some nerve eating all of those burritos without me. we then stared at each other for a few seconds because she was trying to figure out if i had just made a move on her and i was trying to figure out the same thing, but deep down i knew i hadn't. jj had heard her mocking laughter and thought that in order to get her to respect the sport we love, he would have to do something even sicker. he bladed backwards in three smooth circles, stopped, and then started to blade towards the bench again. i was so amp'd at this point, because when jj blades with purpose there's no telling what kind of sickness he'll come down with, you know what i mean? he gets about four feet away from the bench and jumps and i can see that he's setting up for a fishbrain grind and i can hardly contain myself, because he's about to impress three women at the same time. only he didn't, because he jumped too soon and hit his left front wheel on the bench and was going headfirst towards the cement, but luckily caught himself with his hands. the girls laughed and polluted the air with their chalupa breath and i bladed over to jj's aid. he was holding on to his right wrist and he shoots with his right hand and that's why he didn't shoot well during the first half of the finals. i was nervous about it, but i spoke to dallas coach, rick carlisle, and told him everything and how it was my fault and that he should go easy on jj. coach carlisle was surprisingly understanding and all he did was make a cheesy smile and say "alrighty then," and "sssmokin'!" and i thought that was nice of him, but it turns out that i was actually talking to jim carrey. coach carlisle never heard about the wrist injury and played jj as much as he normally would. luckily his wrist healed and he came through during the second half of the series.

the crazy thing is lebron didn't see me in the stands until game 4. there was a moment during the pregame shoot around where we made eye contact. i was sitting behind the dallas bench wearing my nick van exel mavericks jersey. lebron's mouth dropped open and a basketball dropped from his hand and he would never be the same after that. you see, lebron didn't realize how much he missed me. word got back to me that he had been asking around to see where i had been staying and when he found out that it was with jj and heard about all the fun we were having, he felt left out, and that's a hard feeling to shake.

other reasons for lebron's meltdown might be some of the things i had told him before the finals. i got in the bad habit of giving terrible advice as a joke, but like always, lebron didn't know i was joking. i told him that winning and giving effort were becoming too mainstream and that if he wanted to be cool, he should stop doing both of those things. i also brought up that charles barkley is one of the best nba players to never win a championship and that if lebron really wanted to stick it to him for being highly critical of lebron signing with miami, he should take the title of the best nba player to never win a championship.

once again, so many things have been written and said about lebron, but he did and didn't do a lot of things in that series that made us all ask, "what's he doing? why is he not attacking the rim? why is mario chalmers at the line more than lebron? why is he passing the ball to juwan howard? how is shawn marion scoring so easily on him when marion literally shoots from the hip?" it was weird, and even though i didn't want the heat to win, it wasn't easy to watch.

i like watching lebron play, but especially when he was the guy in cleveland. the way he attacked the rim and distributed the ball and won as much as he did with mo williams as the next best option was pretty amazing. his celebrations didn't seem as fake as they do now, but maybe i, along with everyone else, have just become more critical of him. during these playoffs, he started to make that goofy face while he screams and bobs his head (the face can be seen in the picture below). it kind of gave the same feeling that kobe's underbite growl face gives me. it just all began to feel overwhelmingly calculated. it was like he and teammate, chris bosh, were trying to outdo each other for the most awkward celebrations (by the way, chris bosh won hands down with the creepy way he licked his lips and each time he flexed and screamed). it got to the point where i just wanted dwyane wade to shoot every time so i didn't have to see the other two celebrate. i like how wade stares down the crowd in a way that says, "yes, i know i just did something more athletic than anyone besides lebron james can do on this court." he has a natural cool about him that lebron and bosh don't have. wade had a few great games during the series and there were stretches where he was doing whatever wanted with the ball. the crazy part is that he appeared to be doing it all half asleep. he has a look on his face that makes him appear to have hit the after party before the game even started. he injured his hip during the first half of game 5, and then after he hit a big shot in the second half he made a goofy face as he ran up the court. little did we know that the headline "wade hurts his hip" would carry two meanings. i wish whatever bosh has wasn't so contagious.

while watching the finals, i also asked the question, "what's going on in there?" in reference to jason kidd's head anytime the cameras were on him. he looks and sounds like he is elsewhere. jeff van gundy said that he likes jason kidd's demeanor and that he's always poised and not afraid of the moment, but when you have no idea what's going on it's pretty easy to not fear the moment. i asked the same question every time he threw a pass into the seventh row instead of to a cutting shawn marion, who started towards the basket three seconds before kidd threw the pass to where marion was just at. it was those kind of plays in the first four games, as well as the poor shooting by most players besides dirk, that made it hard to breathe until the fourth quarter when they seemed to put something together. it also might have had to do with how their poor passing contrasted with miami's great passing. i could watch lebron and dwyane wade pass a basketball back and forth all day.

i'm glad dirk got his ring, and even jason kidd (hit some big shots). i usually can't stand jason terry and jj barea, but the way they played big boy basketball on the biggest stage made me respect them.

dallas, it was a good six game fling. i hope we never have another.

what it comes down to is that lebron james can't win. whatever he does or doesn't do is going to be puzzled over and picked apart by anyone who cares about basketball. i don't care that he's playing in miami anymore. if i had the option to work with my friends in nice weather, i would too. but the guy is getting paid big money to be an entertainer and a winner and he was neither of those things during the last few games. but even if he never wins as many championships as jordan or kobe, i'd rather hang out with lebron. he lets me be the blue pieces.

2011 nba finals stories that didn't receive enough media coverage:

we went into this series knowing that either mike bibby or peja stojakovic would finally be getting a ring after they were robbed of one while playing on the 2002 sacramento kings (see tim donaghy).
juwan howard is the only fab 5 player to play in the nba finals (chris webber would have been the first with the 2002 sacramento kings if it wasn't for tim donaghy).
deshawn stevenson was the first player in nba history to compete in and win the finals with a backwards pittsburgh pirates logo tattooed on his face. to be more specific, he is the first player in nba history to go 13-23 from 3land in the nba finals with a backwards pittsburgh pirates logo tattooed on his face.
after cameras caught chris bosh collapsing in tears in the tunnel leading to the locker room after game 6, we now know he was one of the players who was crying in the miami locker room when coach erik spoelstra said that there were players in the miami locker room crying after a losing streak towards the end of the regular season.

the pose after the boston series.

mike miller is the guy with the ball in his hand. until this season, the majority of the games he has played in have been irrelevant, so he's still learning how to celebrate important victories. this picture shows him getting ready to throw the ball at the back of lebron's head. taj gibson (bulls) looks on with childlike wonder as lebron braces himself for the 2011 version of miller time. and that's udonis haslem just being himself.

dirk is neither waving hello nor goodbye. he's getting your attention, because he wants to high 5 you and hates to be left hanging. the only hanging he wants to be doing is from a rim 10 feet above a hardwood floor right after he's slam dunked it on chris bosh's face.

i'd like to dedicate this post and this youtube video to my brother, nick, on his birthday. back in '95, nick and i loved this commercial. it was the toughest thing i'd seen or heard at the time.

2011-04-17T23:17:00.000-07:00

F A C E H A I facehair R.

2011-04-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

2011-04-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

2011-04-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

2011-04-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

MerBear

2011-02-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yo. Spizz Kid reminded me that I'm due for a posting. I thought I'd just let everyone know whats going on in Richmond, VA. Still no NFL or NBA teams sadly, but I'm happy to report the Flying Squirrels have come to richmond, and they are one of the finest in minor leauge baseball. Also Richmond still has lots of poor people with really messed up teeth. I'm so glad I get to tell them that they have to pay $150 to the get xrays and exam just to figure out how bad the damage is.

Another cool thing about Richmond VA is that it just got a hot and up coming cover band called MerBear. You may know the drummer from of MerBear from previous great collaborations with the ERC, such as Devils Throat. If you want to check them out go here

http://www.youtube.com/user/Rawbeatsable#p/a/u/0/fadB5rkdhlI

They actually might be the first cover band to sign a real record deal, knock on wood. The picure below is of the 140lb bear that inspired the band name. Nobody has captured a picture of the Mermaid that also inspired the band name.

And I'm still dating an chinese girl. She's great, i think she might make a great tiger mom some day.

Also i just bought my first mac, there is a learning curve to these things, and they are freaking expensive too, but i guess its worth it.

Anywhoooo i love this blog, may it live on forever.

2011-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

CHILL YOUR DILL.

a friend of mine once told me, "there's nothing on this good earth quite like lounging with a machete."

since then, it's been my understanding, correct me if i'm wrong, that if each of us owned a machete and a hammock and knew how to use them, we'd be a much happier people.

(a machete wrapped in a hammock with the above quote written on a card makes for a fun and easy wedding gift! do your part to make people happier!)

2011-01-19T21:55:00.000-08:00

"MAGIC IS SOMETIMES VERY CLOSE TO NOTHING AT ALL."

about a month ago i went to chicago. it was a christmas surprise for my brother as planned by his wife. i flew from salt lake city to detroit and had planned to board a connecting flight to milwaukee, where i would be picked up and driven to chicago. until recent years, i had never met anyone from milwaukee and was ready to see the city for the first time. when i was younger, i would joke with friends that milwaukee was where i wanted to go, because i thought the name was unusual and that made it funny. no one ever talked about wanting to go to milwaukee, and all i knew about the place were its professional sports teams. i don't think that milwaukee's name is as unusual anymore, and it's definitely not as funny, but i carry stuff like that with me and i guess seeing milwaukee would have been like tying up a loose end by fulfilling a false longing. the layover in detroit was supposed to be two hours, but because of snow it ended up being around seven. i switched to a chicago flight, and milwaukee remains a mystery.

while sitting in detroit, i thought about how airports used to have some magic to them. the obvious reason being that you were about to get on an airplane and fly, but also the way luggage appeared at the baggage claim was nothing short of magic. how did my stuff get to utah when the last time i saw it was thousands of miles away in virginia? who decides the order in which luggage arrives at the baggage claim? as a curious boy, those were questions i had. i didn't ask them because when you find out the real answers, the magic leaves. i don't know exactly when, but one time i looked out an airport window and saw men and women in bright orange reflective vests transporting bags from planes to carts to conveyor belts, and i had my answer. the answer didn't involve teleportation or an elaborate underground tunnel system. it was just the lifting and wheeling of good ol' fashioned manual labor. the magic was gone.

i thought about that as i saw the same orange vests moving around luggage, and then i looked over at a group of payphones and saw a man talking on one of them. it took me a second to realize how unordinary that is nowadays, but i couldn't help but feel that that man at the payphone knew where all the airport magic had gone to. he looked around with tired eyes as he made his call. they looked like the eyes of a man who still makes payphone calls and has his mind blown every time someone reminds him how to copy and paste on his desktop computer and that's more endearing than whatever else it is.

there he was just resisting change on a payphone (but was he really? because he needed loose change to use the payphone, unless he had a calling card or was calling collect, right? (that was a joke, but a dangerous one, because it's not very funny)) and looking around at 50 people on smartphones, keeping themselves connected to a world he's not a part of. while watching this, an announcement over the speakers informed the airport that someone had left their bluetooth on an airplane. i thought about the phone mobility spectrum and how the payphone and bluetooth are on opposite ends. eventually the man was either done with his call or ran out of change. either way, he sat across from me and started reading a novel that all men who use payphones probably read. i couldn't read the title, because it was hidden by his payphone dialing fingers.

updates about flight delays would come over the speakers and the payphone caller would look up from his book and make eye contact. he couldn't believe his payphone listening ears. his eyes looked nervous now. i wanted to tell him that it was going to be fine and offer my phone if he needed to make any calls, but i didn't, because he might not have been nervous and i wasn't sure where my false assumption would lead. i started listening to my ipod and played music that was mostly instrumental and more on the mellow side. it kind of slowed everything down and made it all seem cinematic and more meaningful than it actually was. that happens sometimes. i can be reading something while listening to a song and every word of an email, a book, an article, or any written word becomes way more dramatic than it actually is. and i'm sure you've all experienced something like that sometime or another, because music can manipulate emotion, for better or worse. that's why i listen to happy music whenever i write anything. that way if it comes out sounding sad, i must have been really sad.

i eventually boarded my flight to chicago. i wasn't looking forward to the flight, because my new seat was 6b, and i thought that meant i was in a middle seat, but it turned out to be an aisle seat ,because it was a smaller plane and i ended up having a bunch of leg room since it was right behind first class and i've heard people refer to something like that as a bonus. after taking my seat, we had to sit in the plane on the ground for about 30 minutes before we could take off because of snow in chicago, but the guy next to me was on the phone with someone and when he ended the call he told me that the person who he was talking to was in chicago and they said it wasn't snowing at all. i shook my head in a way that made it seem like i was saying "typical chicago. this sort of thing happens to me all the time," but i've rarely flown to chicago and that sort of thing only happens to me sometimes. i was kind of annoyed at that point, though, because i was wearing a lot of layers and was really warm but didn't want to remove any of the layers, because i only had a carry on suitcase that was full and the layers would have just been more loose stuff to keep track of. and it's usually just annoying when you think you're going to arrive somewhere sooner than you actually do, right?

the guy seated next to me was wearing a suit and his hair was slick and i thought he looked like he would be easy to listen to if he wanted to talk, but we didn't say much to each other until the end of the flight. it wasn't a very long flight and i was in and out of sleep most of the time and didn't wake up until we began our descent. we experienced some turbulence and the guy next to me reached for the middle arm rest, but my arm was already there and he put his arm over mine for a second and i let him pull away, because if we both pulled away at the same time it would have been more awkward. my ears began to pop so i pulled out a pack of gum and began chewing a piece, and whenever i pull out a pack of gum i feel the need to offer to whoever's around me. they've seen that i have a pack and i feel rude if i don't at least offer. i didn't think he even saw, but i still thought about it. i mean, we hadn't been talking at all and i had recently woken up from being in and out of sleep and i wasn't sure if my voice was currently at the level it needed to be to ask without sounding like i was nervous from over analyzing whether or not i should offer him a piece of gum, plus i needed to take into account the high level of plane noise. and maybe he would think i was just offering because i thought he needed something to calm his nerves after he grabbed the arm rest the way he did, and i understand why he wouldn't have appreciated that. it became the most calculated gum offer. do i just hold out the pack of gum and kind of point at it with my head? do i say, "you want a piece?" while holding out the pack? do i have a piece of gum in my hand before i offer so he doesn't have to fumble with the pack? i ended up saying, "you want a piece?" while holding out the pack, but he shook his head and said, "naw." he responded in a way that seemed like he'd been declining gum offers his whole life and that's an ability that some people have.

after that, i looked out the window and saw flakes of snow flashing by as they caught the light from the plane. they looked like laser special effects from a 70s sci-fi film. i couldn't stop looking out the window and the guy next to me looked over to see if i was looking at him since i was in the aisle seat. i didn't look away, because like if i had pulled my arm away earlier, it would have made it more awkward, and i don't think he realized how much it looked like we were journeying through space and time.

once the plane landed, we rode around on the ground for another 15 minutes. the guy asked me where i was from and why i was in chicago. i hesitantly told him i was from virginia, because that's what i say when i'm in utah, but i was in chicago. i also told him i was in chicago surprising my brother as planned by my brother's wife. he told me he had lived in southern virginia, but i spent almost all my time in the northern part of the state, so our southern virginia conversation didn't last long. he's originally from miami and i made some comment about how i wouldn't mind being there right then because of the weather. he smiled and said he hated the cold. i asked him if he was a miami heat fan, because they're a big deal right now, and i've also never been to miami and i only know about the heat (two meanings). he said that he is. i said that the heat were really starting to put it together, because this conversation happened a month ago and that's when they were really starting to put it together. he agreed. he lives in detroit now and works in the auto industry and talked about how things were starting to look up. i nodded. i asked him what he was doing in chicago and he told me about how he was originally going to come to chicago because he had won tickets at work or somewhere, but he ended up giving them to a co-worker or someone like that, but for a reason i can't remember he had to come to chicago anyway. it was time to exit the plane and i helped him grab his coat and his luggage from the overhead bins and we told each other it was a pleasure meeting and wished each other a happy holiday.

walking into o'hare airport, i was greeted by angry customers who were waiting to board the airplane i was just on. they didn't seem happy about our delayed arrival and stared at me in a way that made me feel like it was my fault. i played it cool and kept on walking, but not that cool, because a wheel on my suitcase squeaks.

my brother was asleep when we got to their place and seemed more confused than surprised, but i didn't mind, because he wakes up early and he was tired and he didn't know i was coming anyway. i get a big kick out of my brother and his wife, so i had a real fun time in chicago. one highlight was going to a donut shop on the south side called dat donut. you'd like it, it's bulletproof. going to a bulls game was the other highlight. the bulls were the team when sports were almost everything to me as a kid. i didn't like the bulls then, but to see the united center floor, to see the championship banners hanging from the rafters, to hear the same intro music they used during their championship seasons, and to share it with my brother was something special. the bulls played the clippers, which means we saw blake griffin play, and he didn't disappoint. the kid's an animal, a beast, and a monster. and a monstar. anyone who follows the nba knows that, but really, he is exciting to watch if you care at all about basketball. he dropped 47 points the other day and only missed 5 of the 24 shots he took, and i look forward to talking about him with a stranger from los angeles on my next flight.

"hard to be humble when you stuntin' on a jumbotron"

2010-12-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

this next post is about lebron james...

i wanted that to sound like when you're at a rock concert and the singer says something like, "this next song is about carpooling to work in order to protect the environment," or something like that and you're not sure what song it's going to be, because none of their songs sound like they're about that, but then they start playing the intro to one of their top three hits, which isn't about carpooling to protect the environment. the crowd starts making noise, because they like the song and you're thinking to yourself, "these guys know how to play music and they're funny," because that's not what the song's about, but then you remember some of the lyrics and they're pretty vague and general and open to interpretation and could really be attached to a lot of different issues if you wanted to, and you think, "maybe this is about carpooling to work in order to protect the environment."

while typing that i was reminded of the two boyz II men concerts i've had the pleasure of attending. the first time was the fulfillment of an unrealized childhood dream and the second was more of a victory lap. i bring up these experiences because they do a lot of storytelling before their songs and let you know exactly what they're going to be about. i think that's why i'm so fond of 90s r&b in general. r&b lyrics are the antithesis of the general and vague lyrics of some rock songs, like the one explained above: straightfoward and without ambiguity. mostly about love or the loss of love. the descriptiveness of that love and love loss is the only thing that really changes from song to song.

(if you don't like professional basketball you probably won't care to read this)

this isn't a top three hit, but it is about my good friend, lebron james. he was kind enough to provide me some upper bowl seats for the heat-jazz game the other night. despite being the friends that we are, i had never seen lebron james play basketball in person. it was a good game and the heat ran away with it at the end. to be honest, i was as excited to see lebron throw his powder into the air as i was to watch the game. there's something so arrogant about it, but i kind of got chills watching the powder go into the air and hearing the boos. i'm surprised opponents haven't thrown powder into the air to mock lebron. it's interesting that they just let him come into their house and do what he wants. it would be funny if the player mocking lebron threw powder in the air at the start of the game and every time they checked into the game, as well as after each timeout. i would laugh.

the heat are starting to play really well. what's kind of funny about the whole thing is that the heat seemed to really come together during the hyped up cleveland game. i think lebron was wondering about his new team, the south beach heat, at the beginning of the season and missing his old team where he was everything and all of his teammates knew their spots on the court, and everyone in cleveland, as well as so many other people, really loved him. then he went back to cleveland and remembered why he left. the cleveland cavaliers just aren't good at basketball right now. a team unfit for a king, if you will (i wonder how many stories used the title, "unfit for a king," or something like that after lebron left?).

lebron's absence has shown how bad the cavs really were/are and how much he did for their team. i watched a lot of their games the past few seasons and to watch them this season was sad. the only guy i'd want on my team from their roster is jj hickson. he goes for a dunk every time he shoots the ball and he seems to try on every play. i'm not sure if that's true, but his eyes are always wide open and he's always heavily breathing so it looks like he's trying every play. the rest of the cavs team without lebron? i just don't know. it's my opinion that anderson varejao's just become a big guy with bad hair, antawn jamison has found comfort in the familiarity of being on another losing team, and the rest of the team used to stand around the perimeter waiting for an open three, but that's not happening anymore. i think i mostly feel bad for cleveland's commentators. their voices used to be on youtube clips of lebron, and there used to be exciting plays to get loud about, but i'm guessing that's a rare occasion these days.

who was affected the most by lebron's decision? mo williams. it really turned his world upside down. he was very open about considering retirement after lebron left. he looks like he's tried to distance himself from lebron and the recent past by removing the headband, but they still have similar shaped tattoos on their arms. not saying who copied who on that one, but the whole thing's curious. during the heat game i think mo tried to put a tough guy look on his face, but it came across as pouty. i kind of wanted lebron to say something about it during the post-game press conference. finish his last answer and then say, "...oh, and mo? stop pouting." but he didn't.

(i'm currently listening to the led zeppelin song, "that's the way," and the first line is: "i don't know how i'm gonna tell you, i can't play with you no more..." a humorous coincidence, because lebron didn't know how to tell his old team either, so he ended up telling them on national television.)

i feel like we need stuff like that from lebron, though. i really like watching him play, but his interviews are rarely, if ever, controversial. when he retweeted all the hate tweets he'd received from internet thugs at the beginning of the season i thought the heat were going to completely embrace the bad boy image, but you can't be the bad guy when all you really want is to be loved. if he really just wants to be loved i think he picked the wrong place to play. also, during the cleveland game, those fans were really loud. they really showed up. lebron won't admit it, but i feel like there was a moment during the third quarter when the fans kind of got to him. he played it cool the whole game and went off for 24 points in the third quarter, but there was a time near the end of the third where one of his teammates was shooting free throws, maybe bosh, and the crowd restarted the chant, "akron hates you!" and lebron stood at half court and bobbed his head up and down with the chant, but he wasn't smiling. now, i don't think he started to believe that akron, ohio, (his hometown) really hates him, but the fact that he acknowledged the crowd surprised me.

but yeah, i saw lebron james throw powder into the air the other night.

2010-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

"Between you and me, I think that may be one of the things that will help with the collaboration, because there are things Eric thinks I'm moving too quickly on, and there are things I think he's dragging out. When it gets to the editor they can arbitrate."

-Robert Asprin (American science fiction

and fantasy author)

Slow down, Bob Asprin. It's not a race.

2010-11-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

"When the movie was done, Number Five was crated up. Eric took him over to Germany; displayed him over there because Germans really liked this movie. It was very popular with them."

-John Badham

Johnny Five, the biggest mistake was crating you up.

Germany, we had fun, didn't we?

2010-11-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Here's something I like to call "Quotes About Eric."

This is where I post quotes from famous people about another Eric, but that I wish had been said about me.

John Badham is the director of "Short Circuit," "Saturday Night Fever," "WarGames," and "Bird on a Wire." I assume he's referring to a robot suit used in the making of "Short Circuit 2," which he did not direct.

"I also know that in the second movie, the sequel, Eric made some huge advances with the robot suit. That just made it even better. You put the suit on and moved your arms then the robot's arms would move in sync with yours."

-John Badham

As if "Short Circuit" could've been any better.

"and i think it's gonna be a long, long time..."

2010-10-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

the other weekend, uncle brad was listening to his radio while sitting in his rocking chair. the song was "rocket man" by elton john. the scene is called "rocking man." art is all around us.

i watched at least 70 birds fly south the other evening in groups as small as two and as large as 20. and i said quietly to myself, "man, look at all those birds," and i did. i looked at all those birds.

this past weekend i was mowing the lawn and i ran over part of an overgrown flower bush. one of the flowers stayed on top of the lawn mower for the rest of the time. it was the most poetic lawn mowing experience of my life.

i've decided to scratch everything from my resume and just write, "i'm tall." it's the best thing i've got going for me. i mostly just want to go in for an interview and have them look up, shake my hand and say, "whoa, you weren't lying," and half laugh while they're saying so. but for some reason i feel like 76 inches will never be enough. the interviewer will ask, "what are some of your skills." i'll lift my arms and stretch them as far as they can go and say, "i've got long arms that stretch far," and then put my arms back down. the interviewer, confused, will ask, "is this some kind of a joke?" stretching my arms out again, i will say, "you tell me."

i probably wouldn't get that job, but at least the interviewer would have a story to tell, and everyone wants one of those. just a "you won't believe what happened..." kind of story that ends up being completely believable. we just like to challenge each other's belief.

"you're never going to believe who i saw today."

"try me. i think you'll be surprised."

my story today would be about the guy in business casual who looked at me and said, "hey, i saw that you called." confused, i said, "no, i didn't. you must have mistaken me..." and then he cut me off with "yeah, that would be great. just forward those numbers to me..." while looking at me like i was crazy. i then saw a bluetooth phone in his right ear. a bit embarrassed i looked at his hands that held no phone and walked on. man, i wish i had a bluetooth. to be able to talk on the phone and clap my hands while walking with ease would be nice.

i'll be honest, that didn't really happen, but something like it has before. the truth is i did see a man in business casual outside his office with a bluetooth in his ear as i was stopped in my car at an intersection. i watched as he leaned against a wobbly railing, which put him in a visible panic. since i couldn't hear him, i can only imagine how his voice changed as he lost his balance. the noises people make when they fall, or think they're going to fall, are good. the uncontrollable scream, yell, or swear. but when it happens mid-conversation, the change in the voice is perfect.

with all that said, "willy wonka & the chocolate factory" was on tv the other day and i watched part of the end. the movie's got a very saturday-afternoon-i-don't-really-know-how-my-day-got-to-this-point-i-had-planned-to-do-so-much-more feel to it. i used to be creeped out by gene wilder (willy wonka). i think it stemmed from my brother telling me as a young boy that gene wilder was hiding in my closet. just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. it was something about the way he delivered his lines and some of his facial expressions. he's all right with me now, though. they still could've found a better charlie. there are a lot of good lines/scenes in the movie, but don't take my word for it...

99 friends.

2010-09-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

"there's three types of people in the world: those who don't know what happened, those who wonder what happened...

2010-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

...and people like us from the streets that MAKE things happen!"

when i go to the library with the purpose of checking out books, i read the first pages to see if i want to give it a go. the defeat felt after borrowing a few books and returning a couple unread three weeks later takes a bit of a toll on me. there's always the option of renewing them, but that's just an extension on an already unmet deadline. i'm not the fastest reader. the way a simple sentence is written can cause my mind to wander, so i'm constantly having to re-read. with that said, a stack of five books at the checkout represents wishful thinking. on the way home, as that same stack of books moves around on the passenger seat, it's saying to me, "c'mon, eric, smaller bites, buddy. you can't chew all that," but i remain hopeful that one of the books has lots of dialogue and the end of each chapter has only 3-4 lines on the page.

i took a seat in what looked like a soft, cushy chair and opened a book (the chair was neither that soft nor that cushy, but squeaked and stuck to the skin). as i finished page two, i was interrupted by an audible conversation directly behind me, which i have a terrible time ignoring. a conversation in a quiet area where there are no other sounds to blend with. the two didn't speak like traditional friends, but spoke like they knew each other. everything they said was to the point - nothing more or less. the way they spoke hinted at experience with anime, equal experience with fantasy literature dealing with dragons, and at the drop of a hat, the readiness to convince you how advanced medieval society really was. i don't know how to properly explain it, but there's a definite tone that lets me know when i'm dealing with this type of person.

i found out they had just met when one of them asked the other what school they attend. if they went to the same, she was going to recommend checking the school's library for the book the other was looking for. they don't attend the same school, and no there was no "thank you" for the useless tip. after hearing this, i wondered if their high schools were rivals. it wouldn't have mattered. they didn't seem like the type to pay any mind to stuff like that.

"have you read this series?" asked one of them.
"yes, i've read them all, but it's been such a long time. i'm thinking about revisiting them," answered the other arrogantly with a slight snicker, which is kind of how she was saying everything. i don't think she meant anything by it.

i turned around to take a look at them. unbeknownst to me, i was seated in the graphic novel section. the wall was lined with series after series of graphic novels illustrated with anime-style art. everything made sense again and i thought about how the graphic novel section is probably the only place in the library where verbal conversation can go from 0 to 60 in such a short time. usually there's a bit of rust in the voice after being quiet while walking around the library, but not with these folks. the passion they have for the graphic novel makes it impossible to keep quiet, which gives instant strength to their voices. it's somewhat of a polarizing genre. you either really love and know about it, or you just don't and don't. anybody can love a good film adaptation of a graphic novel, but to be in it all the way, i mean really live and breathe that stuff, is a whole different story.

i checked out the book and walked out of the library happy. i'm not sure i even wanted the book, but their conversation made me forget i was even debating it. i think i was happy because of all the different people this world has. all the different niches and different kinds of cool. then i was kind of sad, because i will never be able to connect or fully participate with a lot of them, because there's just not enough time to give all the graphic novels the attention they deserve.

i got two words for you

2010-08-22T19:01:00.001-07:00

Sometimes taking pictures of yourself is fun. Sometimes having other people take them for you is more fun. I wanted to get a really cool picture in Trafalgar Square and so I asked this kid to take a picture for me. I saw a small WWF insignia on the front of his shirt so I gave him one of these:

Then when he walked away, on the back of his shirt I saw this:

I realized my error.

2010-08-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

hey, everybody. i know that world cup 2010 has been over and done with for almost a month now, but i just wanted to say that i enjoyed watching the games. much like the '94 cup, i was familiar with enough of the players to care a bit. i also enjoyed the slow-motion replay utilized by abc, which they also used during the 2008 nba finals. i liked them so much, i had to share some of the fun from world cup 2010's final game over here. am i the biggest soccer fan in the world? no, but the above photo says otherwise.

"ain't no surprise in the club to see sly, stallone. miami, my second home."

2010-07-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

it's been over a week since lebron made his big decision, announcing that he will be playing for the miami heat. there was report after report full of speculation leading up to the decision and an equal amount of backlash the following morning. playing a major role in the decision making process, i will now give you parts of the full story.

most of you probably know that i'm good friends with lebron. i'm a few days older than him, so he often comes to me for advice. his recent decision to join our friends, dwyane wade and chris bosh, came as no surprise to me since i had been his number one advisor throughout. the most comical part about the whole thing is lebron originally thought "heat" was a nickname for the phoenix suns. he thought that dwyane wade was actually leandro barbosa, and that chris bosh was actually channing frye. i didn't realize this until a text conversation i had with him four hours prior to his one-hour special on espn:

'Bron: CAN'T BELIEVE I'MA BE ON THE HEAT!!!

ERC: ah man, can't wait to celebrate with the 2011 champs!

'Bron: LOL! MAN, IT'S GONNA BE CRAZY RIGHT? I CAN'T BELIEVE ME, DWYANE, CHRIS ARE GOING TO BE PLAYING TOGETHER!!! HAVING STEVE NASH RUN POINT, AND HAVING JRICH COMING OFF THE BENCH IS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!!!

ERC: man, that's funny. it will be good to have dwight howard protecting the rim as well :) (i had to start putting smileys at the end of texts, because lebron has a terrible time detecting sarcasm in its unspoken form. this actually got us into trouble a few days ago when i texted him "you should hold an hour long special on espn where you announce where you'll be playing next year." he responded with, "THAT'D BE TIGHT!!! WHERE SHOULD IT BE AND WHO SHOULD INTERVIEW ME?" i quickly responded with "a city with so much money and jim gray," (i thought this would let him know i was joking).

'Bron: whoa, erc, i don't think heat have enough dollars to sign dwight. that was random.

(the lack of caps lock was cause for concern and i knew he wasn't joking about playing with steve nash at this point).

ERC: yeah, they don't. i don't know what i was thinking. you think the heat have enough money to sign both steve nash and jrich? they're going to have to play for very little money.

'Bron: what? they're locked in for at least next season

ERC: yeah, with the suns.

'Bron: i know, why you playin, erc?

ERC: wait, you know the suns and heat are different teams, right?

'Bron: WAIT WHAT?! :/

ERC: oh no, you look confused! you thought heat was just a nickname for the suns, huh? because the sun gives off heat?

'Bron: :(

when i realized that his first choice was the phoenix suns i was saddened, because to get nash a ring would have been a good thing. lebron's confusion also explains why he wasn't smiling much when he announced that he'd be heading to south beach to play with the miami heat.

after the show, lebron asked me if i could shoot cleveland cavs owner, dan gilbert, a text seeing if he watched and knew he was leaving. here's how that went:

ERC: hey, dan. i don't know if you know already, but lebron's going to be signing with the heat.

DG: @#$#@%$^%&ˆ¨¥†¨ˆ¥†ˆ∂∆

(for whatever reason, dan gilbert uses the webdings font when texting. the decoded message is, "WHAT? WHY IS HE SIGNING WITH PHOENIX?!")

ERC: haha...so you heard about lebron's confusion earlier?

DG: ª•º– ªº• ºª•˚¬…∆åß∂Ïª•¶ºª§¶•∞§§¶∞¢™∞¶§£ª™•¶¢§ª•¶§£™¢ª•¶§£™¢ª¶ª§∆
(WHAT?! HE THINKS HE HAS A BETTER CHANCE WINNING IN THE WEST?!)

ERC: take it easy, man. the answer to that last question is yes. he has a better chance winning anywhere outside of cleveland. but he's not even going to phoenix; he's going to the MIAMI heat.

DG: ¢£∞ª•(*&)(&)(*&∆∆∆

(I'M GOING TO BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!!!)

ERC: sorry for delayed responses, but it takes a minute to read messages written in webdings. i don't think it's a good idea to burn his house down or joke about it. maybe you could just write a letter to cleveland in the heat of the moment when you're not thinking straight. (i should have included a smiley at the end of this one).

(10 minutes later)

DG: (%&^∆∆∆

(D ONE!!!)

and that's how the cookie crumbled.

and now, the tricky part: getting me signed by miami. lebron was able to set up a meeting with miami heat president, pat riley, right when we got to miami last thursday night. i'll be honest, i was intimidated by the man. the intimidation was based on appearance alone, but the guy's talk's as slick as his hair and he had me sold within the first 3 minutes of our conversation. it went something like this: "now, a lot of people aren't liking what we've done here. we have become the villains, but that's okay. we are the villains that will win at least 3 championships in the next five years, and do so with the most exciting brand of basketball ever. the only thing that could ruin this is if bosh decides to wear his hair like a woman again," said pat riley.

"haha," i laughed.

"now, what about you? in 20 words or less, why do you want to be part of the miami heat organization?"

without any hesitation, i spoke from the heart: "rony seikaly, bimbo coles, 2-time slam dunk champion, harold 'baby jordan' miner, alec kessler, sherman douglas, glen rice's flat top."

pat riley nodded in approval after every word. in response pat said, "the people of miami are more proud of those two slam dunk competition trophies than winning the 2006 nba championship. i like you, kid. here's what i'm going to do: i'm going to give you a $30 stipend every game for food and travel and i will allow you to sit on the bench, but there's one condition."

"what's that?"

"i want you to start slicking that hair back, son."

i immediately pulled out a comb, poured a glass of water over my head, and began to slick my hair back. pat laughed and said, "one day you're going to be sitting in my seat."

"and you, mine."

"haha," laughed pat riley.

and that was that. he sweetened the deal by letting me know that the $30 would not be taxed. great to be onboard, but this obviously won't be enough money for housing. to remedy this i will have my own seven-part reality series on "animal planet" called, "bienvenido a miami." we were able to swing this by purchasing two pet parakeets. throughout the series i will visit the homes of james, wade, and bosh to decide who i want to bunk with. episodes will include cameos from the nba's favorite knuckleheads, lamar odom and ron artest. the three of us will have a book club as well as play multiple games of "sorry" with a running tally of how many we've each won. first one to 11 wins gets to keep the parakeets.

concerning lebron's decision, it's amazing how fast it all changed. for every 20 stories about how he gave up on cleveland, those same writers were ready to write 20 puff pieces praising lebron's loyalty if he was staying in cleveland. every jordan comparison will be dropped and that's fine, because lebron never wanted to be compared to anyone, he wants everyone to be compared to him.

to mo williams and the rest of lebron's former teammates, i'm sorry. that has to hurt your feel-goods to have every sportswriter say time and time again that lebron had one of the worst supporting casts.

the real question that pops out from this nba off-season is who signed the better three, miami (lebron james, dwyane wade, chris bosh) or phoenix (hedo turkoglu, josh childress, hakim warrick)? tough one. i guess we'll find out in the 2011 nba finals.

if the miami heat have truly become the villains of the nba, i just hope in two or three seasons kevin durant becomes the hero. those could be some exciting championship battles.

these are pictures:

lebron talking to jim gray. me watching.

lebron letting miami know the wolfpac is most definitely in the house, and me approving of the night's event and the energy of the crowd.

the gang being interviewed by espn. the video is paused after chris bosh was asked why he and lebron were wearing the same jacket. there was a short silence, and you can see me beginning to answer for him.

"Don't get me wrong, Chi-town got it goin' on

An New York is the city that we know don't sleep

An we all know that L.A. and Philly stay jiggy

But on the sneak, Miami bringin' heat for real."

"some people, they like to go out dancing. and other peoples, they have to work..."

2010-05-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

in the third grade there was a girl who was an overachiever. she was good at soccer and wore her tie-dyed all star soccer jersey as proof. a lot of the boys liked her. i was one of them. she wanted to start a group that would read books on mammals and do reports/presentations about them. she asked her best friend, another boy in our class, and me to join the group. flattered, i joined, but was a bit shaky on some of the details. i hated oral presentations and did fine on my schoolwork, but have never enjoyed it much, so doing extra reports disagreed with my idea of fun. the group never went far. i believe we got as far as checking out a couple of books from the library. soccer girl became increasingly more controlling, and the other boy in the group became more vocal about how silly the whole thing was. it all ended when soccer girl told us we would have to stay inside during recess to work on our unnecessary assignments. i don't remember what was said after that, but i do remember how i felt after hearing the worst idea of all time. the colors of her tie-dyed all star jersey seemed to bleed into one. mammals never seemed less interesting. football wallball at recess was never more fun. sometimes you just want to do exactly what is expected of you, especially when going above and beyond doesn't make any kind of sense/cents.

i mostly told that story because i was reminded of it when i sat down to type this next part. i was walking out the front door the other day after it had rained and i saw a bee crawling slowly across the doormat. it's wings were wet and heavy from the rain. it is nearly impossible to fly with heavy wings. i thought about the struggle of the bee as i drove away. this led me to do some research on the internet. i enjoyed this the most. i had heard that bees die soon after stinging a person, but i wanted some confirmation. only female honeybees do, because male honeybees don't have stingers. the skin of a mammal is too thick and the stinger stays inside while the bee pulls away. this action causes a tear in the abdomen, which in turn causes the death. this is only the case with mammals; bees can sting other insects "with impunity." the stinger contains a pheremone that gets other bees in the area "riled up." the pheremone that i use is called "bod." queen bees only use their stinger to keep other queen bees out of their hive. they have millions of babies and will leave and take worker bees with them if the hive becomes overcrowded and once a new queen is born.

i've been stung twice in my life. bees are said to only sting when provoked. the first time i was stung the bee had flown into the collar of my shirt, got caught, understandably felt provoked, and then stung my neck. the reason for the second sting is a bit of a mystery. it's the 4th of july and i'm sitting poolside with my feet in the water, relaxed as i've ever been and all of the sudden there's a bee on my thumb. i look at her. she stings me. as simple as that and i'm left wondering why she felt so provoked. was it my "bod" bodyspray that drove her wild? maybe some water splashed her? maybe she was feeling just as relaxed and needed a place to sit and as she plopped down she accidentally stung me? whatever the reason, she flew away dying. and if her reasoning involves getting splashed with water, she crawled away dying. i was too preoccupied with the shock to watch her go.

i can only imagine the rapid thoughts going through her head as she took her last flight: "i overreacted, jumped to conclusions, and now i'm dying. stinger's gone, abdomen's torn and i'm dying. the mammal's skin was too thick, i don't know what i was thinking. hindsight, i would have just stung other insects with impunity."

she landed in an open window where all flying insects go to die. with her body rested against the window screen she no longer had time to think about her fatal mistake. she moved her wings slowly for the last time while watching a tree sway with the wind as five eyes went blank.

keep your wings dry and your nose clean, folks.

and that's it.

hey, i want you and your friends to meet some of my friends over here. you might recognize them, because they can be seen around here from time to time. they're not my only friends, so don't feel left out. this isn't about exclusivity.

the pictures are how they looked in 2009. some appearances have changed during this young decade, but they're still great people with the occasional bad day(s) just like you and me.

if all goes as planned, there should also be a song for you over here. when you're listening, imagine we're all playing scrabble in outer space or at the bottom of the ocean and you just placed the word "fun" across a triple word score.

"does anyone in here get hit with inside fever?"

2010-04-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

i know it's nice outside, but come back in, sit down, and just have fun on the internet. let the electric heat and light of the computer screen dry out your eyes.

i don't know if you've been over to dirty pop lately, but i've added some fun. i'm not sure what happened to some of the animations from before, but they stopped working and everyone was stressing out and asking me what the matter was (this isn't true). most of the original animations are back up. i've recently posted a little video i made from photographs i took in new york. i enjoyed creating it. what's exciting is that i also created the music which is influenced by other music i've enjoyed listening to lately.

i just wanted to invite you again. if you like fun, come on over and bring friends. if you or your friends hate fun, i invite you to not come over, but i will give you the invitation to watch "golden girls" until the sun goes down, because that's the opposite of fun. when that sun goes down and you've lost all strength and motivation to get up from that couch, i would then invite you to rethink how and why you hate fun and maybe try not to anymore.

CLICK ANYWHERE

"i did not become someone different that i did not want to be, but i'm new here. will you show me around?"

2010-03-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

hearing music in public places can go either way. sometimes it fits what your doing. other times it doesn't. one time, raw-b and i, were at ikea with some friends and had to make a stop at the inconveniently located restroom. there were some strangers, but it was quiet and the only sound was the music playing. we caught the tell end of coldplay - "the scientist", which had raw-b giggling, because it's a slow song with a sad feel in a public bathroom. raw-b giggling is enough to make me start giggling. and as i left giggling, seal - "crazy" started playing and a guy walks in whistling the chorus as i hear seal's voice singing, "but we're never going to survive unless we get a little crazy." stuff like that is funny. i'm never going to seek out seal - crazy, even though the lyrics are powerful and true, but it was perfect for that restroom.

when i'm looking for used books at a thrift store, give me some sloop john b, or something like it. give me something from the '60s, because most of those books were new then. give me something with soul. give me this.

while i was in new york, i worked right outside of madison square garden and across the street was nathan's, which is a famous restaurant down in coney island and most famous for its hot dogs. i'd have lunch there mostly for the crinkle fries and partially for the music. sometimes the music was lacking. i remember one time john mayer's song, "say (what you need to say)" came on and i couldn't have disliked it more. you know what that song feels like? i imagine it's similar to the feeling of climbing to the middle of a corporate ladder doing a job that brings nothing but monetary satisfaction and the realization that you have given up on every dream you once had, but are now too old to even begin to think about making an attempt at them. your also single with no children (so no joy from raising a family), and you go home and listen to your old seal albums every night. that's what that song feels like to me. people say john mayer is a great musician. maybe, but if great musicians make songs like that, no thanks. am i right?

luckily, primitive radio god's big hit, "standing outside a broken phone booth with money in my hand" played next. it is one of the most re-listenable songs i've heard. i loved it when i first heard it and love it still.

after finishing my meal, i got up to make my exit and tears for fears came on. when you hear the intro to "everybody wants to rule the world" you have to stay. you have to sit down and you have to listen. and when they all start singing "there's a room where the light won't find you..." (2:05 on the video) you can tell they mean it and are almost saying "you have to stay for the whole song." i picture a lot of people saying "alright, i'm just going to listen to this until i hear the chorus one more time and then i'm going to switch stations," but the unified TFF crew attacks with those passionately sung lines. for whatever reason, hearing this song that time really got me. before that, i never wanted to rule the world, but by the end they had me believing that i, along with everybody else, really did want to. all of the songs i've heard by them bring a sound that is dark. they hit you with the paranoia. i'm mostly talking about this song, "shout," and "mad world." there weren't enough mind-numbing distractions in the '80s. what do you think about after your done catching some gnarly waves and speeding down a desert road in your convertible? because that's all the '80s were (if i used emoticons, i would use the winking one here). you think about everyone wanting power and the pain caused by war. then you record a song about it.

you can imagine my surprise when i watched the video for the first time in years. it packs most of my favorite things into one beautiful work. let me share some of my favorite parts:

0:40 - little boy sheriff with the fast trigger.

2:02 - you get some action shots of the lead singer's ponytail. before that, it's only hinted at. you're right, it is similar to the ponytail that ted danson wears in "getting even with dad." to be honest, i was a little upset, because the way the singer has his hair, he could just tuck that pony into his shirt. if you're going to grow one, don't be ashamed. let it run free (to be honest again, i'm not sure if that would be classified as a ponytail or rattail, but either way it should have been given much more camera time at the beginning of the video).

2:33 - introduction of the two men in suits dancing at a gas station in the desert.

2:35 - BEST RAISED EYEBROWS IN A MUSIC VIDEO. it made me think two things: "hey, this guy is fun. he's just having a good time watching these two men dancing," or "hey, this guy wants to touch everyone without permission."

2:43 - young, three-wheelin', ice cream cone eatin' paul mccartney.

2:46 - not sure what's going on under those shades.

3:02 - BEST DANCE MOVE IN A MUSIC VIDEO. this probably goes beyond music video territory. best dance move ever?

3:14 - the guy loves the two men dancing so much, but looks up and over, slightly embarrassed about how much he loved it.

3:19 - iconic image (seen in every 80s cd compilation infomercial). the guy on the right goes from really fun to angry vampire in a matter of seconds.

3:53 - best drummer.

thanks for everything, tears for fears.

(dirty pop will be updated soon. stay tuned.)

"SLAM! duuh duuh duuh, duuh duuh duuh, let the boys be boys!"

2010-02-24T12:59:00.000-08:00

if you were to create a venn diagram for lebron james and myself, you would find us in the middle where the circles meet.

let me break it down:

lebron and i were born in the latter part of december of 1984 (30th and 27th).

lebron james writes with his left hand, but his right hand is dominant on the court (same with me).

lebron james has a lucrative shoe deal with nike. i have a lucrative shoe deal with fila (a company that hasn't been important since sponsoring grant hill, and the forgettable in 5 years, jerry stackhouse, as well as late tlc rapper, left eye's, rhyme that finishes off their classic, "no scrubs," with, "t-boz and all my senoritas is steppin' on your filas").

lebron james has so much money. so do i.

lebron james is dominant on the court. so am i.

lebron james wants to be a global icon. i already am (this might actually be a difference, but there is no doubt in my mind that lebron will reach global icon status).

lebron james didn't play college ball. neither did i (actually, i played on team narhwale for four seasons, but we'll look past that for the sake of similarity).

lebron james won an olympic gold medal. i kind of did.

and the list goes on and on. the only real difference between us is that i've attended college.

in other news, there is a new post over here. it is mostly to resurrect the relevance of childhood hero, gheorghe muresan. growing up in the dc area, i had the great honor of watching him play live a few times. he ruined the only potentially exciting play during a bullets-76ers game, where the aforementioned jerry stackhouse was going to have a big dunk. it might have been top 10 most boring games in nba history, and gheorghe decided to foul stackhouse as he rose up to dunk on him.

and if that's not enough for you, ladies, spencer is shirtless over here.

(sandstorm beat)

2010-02-16T12:05:00.000-08:00

sorry about the unspecified time zone of the 11:30am. i hope you'll accept my apology and follow me over here.

because you're going to want to be listening to that while you're looking at this.

(best viewed on a big screen)

this first post on the new blog is mostly an introduction.

if you don't like it, at least you were able to listen to darude - sandstorm today.

this blog will be updated regularly.

thanks for the support. i think you're cool.

remember, this is only the beginning...

"tuesday, you see, she had to be free, but somehow i've got to carry on."

2010-02-14T08:59:00.001-08:00

thank you for being ready. it seems as though i underestimated the time it would take to reach the 5. i'm pretty curious to know if dustin viewed the post earlier in the week, but wasn't quite ready for the new blog to drop. i respect that.

as for the unveiling of the new blog, i feel like it shouldn't be on a sunday. i really don't. it's a 3 day weekend for a lot of people. i don't want to take away from anyone's valentine's or presidents day. it's not cool to take away from these holidays. although, maybe this could add to both?

let's think about it. monday's a holiday. on most mondays, everyone's upset they're back at work or in school, but the recent weekend is still fresh in our minds. when tuesday rolls around, we're progressing towards the middle, but realize it's only the middle of the beginning and there are a good amount of numbers to be crunched, bills to be paid, stress to be felt, emails to be sent, phone calls to be made, potential bridges to be burned due to the lack of phone calls made and emails sent on past tuesdays, about 32 more hours at your office desk (if you're working the regular 9 to 5 week. if not, so many more hours.) until the weekend, walls to be painted, papers to write, etc. the list grows with marriage and having children.

on the flip side, tuesdays not only represent having too much time before fridays, but also having enough time. tuesdays give the illusion that we can put something due on friday off for another day, giving start to the troublesome practice of procrastination. after all, it's only tuesday.

now, i may be giving tuesday a bad rap (erc = bad rap? impossible), but all the good and fun enjoyed on any other day can be enjoyed on tuesday as well.

that's why the new blog will be unveiled this coming tuesday at 11:30am.

i don't know, i guess if we don't like, or even hate, something or someone, we might as well try harder to feel the opposite.

the way i see it, this needs to happen on tuesday. if mondays are terrible for marking the end of the weekend, what about the traditional 3-day weekend? tuesday has that traditional 3-day weekend in the scorpion deathlock, and the weekend's tapping out. i feel like this upcoming blog can somehow be a way to counter the deathlock. i kind of see it as our own tongan death grip. we just need to hold that grip until the death comes, because celebrating too soon could prove to be devastating. let's hope tuesday doesn't have a spear and jackhammer up his/her sleeve.

"i said 'be careful, his bowtie is really a camera.'"

2010-02-09T16:06:00.000-08:00

google readers, can i have your attention please? excuse me, google readers, can i have your attention please? i would like to invite you to come over to the actual blog and read this post. i know this is another lengthy post, but i want you to learn about this cloud world, but if you hate to read, there is an important announcement at the end of the post, and we're going to need your help.

weeks ago, i watched dane (with a little help from friends, and a bit of coaching from me as i watched the youtube tutorials for world 8) beat mario 3 on the original nintendo. it was no small feat and i found myself becoming overly excited whenever we got 3 stars in a row at the end of the levels which leads to a 5-up. time costly thrills.

the reason i bring this up is because watching the levels where you walk on the clouds as mario and get all those gold coins reminded me of thoughts i have had on more than one occasion while flying, and most recently on my flight back from new york. whenever i fly, i do my best to get a window seat, because it's easier to rest my head, but i also love the view. only a long time ago when i was flying from virginia to utah to start college have the clouds looked as beautiful as they did this most recent time. both times the sun was setting and the clouds stretched every way, with heavy, cumulus ones forming mountains. the only difference was the first time i was listening to jimmy eat world's clarity on my discman and thinking it was the only album i'd need on a deserted island.

both times i thought about making the clouds my home. i understand you can't walk on them, but what if you could? what if they were the most comfortable thing? no more bumps and bruises, no more painful reminders that you're 6'4 and hitting you're head after underestimating how much you needed to duck. having a roof over your head would be unnecessary, because it's never going to rain. what if eating them provided sustenance? they wouldn't have the overrated taste of artificial cotton candy flavoring, but similar to the concept of the imaginary food in neverland, the clouds would taste like whatever you imagined they would and you'd like it.

the ever-changing cloud horizon would present the only problem on this fictional world. paul simon and art garfunkel's lines from "the only living boy in new york" would never be more important and true: "i get the news i need on the weather report. i can gather all the news i need on the weather report." if the weather report says "partly cloudy" or "clear skies" everyone would have to pack a parachute. because there is nothing to ever block the sun, and we'll say it's always perfect temperature, my skin would be a healthy bronze to go along with my gold bones and platinum tongue that has the ability to spit fire, because in this fictional world, i would be the greatest rapper of all time. being made up of precious metals and combinations of other elements, i would be known as the periodic table. whenever someone would see heat lightning light up the clouds from earth, they would actually be seeing a periodic table performance. each show would include a cover of gang starr's "above the clouds" with special guest, spizz kid. crowds will erupt during the lines:

"above the crowds, above the clouds

where the sounds are original

infinite skills create miracles

warrior spiritual - above the clouds

raining/reigning down

holdin' it down."

when i'd pick up a handful of cloud and put it over my face as a fake, white beard, people would think it was funny, but some would roll their eyes, because they've seen me use that joke before. i will see some that will laugh. after all, i wasn't hurting anybody. in this world, the hater will keep his/her distance and silence, because no one will want to hear their negativity. if they say something like "e.r.c., that joke is tired and you're stupid for continuing to do that," i will kindly ask them to pick up some cloud and eat it and imagine that it tastes like dog doodle. eliminating the haters would allow everyone to reach their full creative potential.

oh, and the gold coins will be there as well, but mostly for decoration. the playing field will be level and the only currency in cloud world is what you share with another.

i like to know what time it is. my favorite times are gametime, hangtime, and bedtime. wearing a watch always is a practice i adopted about 4 years ago. my watch is currently on military time and i don't know how to switch it back to standard. it is also purposely 15 minutes fast. the best part is it's digital, so when someone asks for the time, i appear unable to read it because i have to stare at my watch for a minute, because i'm reading 23:34 and can't remember what that means, so i will have to say "it's 23:34 minus 12 hours and 15 minutes." there's also an alarm beep that goes off at 0:00, which is really 11:45 pm, which i also don't know how to remedy. it's just how i've chosen to live my life. i have a clock in my room that's always 10-15 minutes fast, the aforementioned watch, and my phone. my phone always has the most correct time, so i go to that if i don't have a moment to spare for simple math. i guess the idea of being early has always been more appealing than being late.

i remember when i was younger i would look at sell-by dates on all sorts of food items and wonder where i would be when that date hit and when that food item probably shouldn't be messed with anymore. my driver's license expired on my birthday, so i now have a utah license, but that's not the point. the point is that i remember looking at the date, 12-27-2009, on my new license back in may of 2004, and wondering where i would be on that date. not only where my location would be, but everything else as well. when i saw that that date had passed i wasn't so sure that i was where i thought i'd be, but after thinking about it, i'll be fine. let's think about it. we've met some pretty amazing people the past few years who have done some pretty amazing things, and maybe we've been able to be amazing ourselves. in some ways the past is just one big sunk cost, but remembering the good and even some of the bad is giving us the gold right now and tomorrow.

and now, the announcement mentioned in the introduction to this post. we've had our times here at deepthoughtsandlove, and those times aren't going to end. i will speak for myself and say thank you to everyone who reads my/our posts and looks at our pictures. thanks to those who ask me when i'm going to post again. this started as a blog for a bunch of chill buds to just make each other laugh. some buds got married, all of us got busy and the posting became more and more sporadic. i started to use this blog as a creative outlet and it's done me well, but this blog was started by a group of us and it will stay true to that.

i would like to announce that i will be dropping a new blog that will be for the most part images with very few words. It will mostly just contain the letters e, r, and c. this is something that i'm openly excited about. i think you're going to like it.

the blog address will not be revealed until these 5 specific people comment on this post:

dustin skinner

raw-b

linda boyer

kevin hutchings

david smith

here's the deal, if you know how to contact these people, you need to let them know this. it has to be them who comments (leaving a link or something of that sort that lets me know it's really them). text them, facebook them, call them, or tell them face to face. don't think that someone else will be the one to tell them either, because they're thinking the same thing.

anyone can feel free to comment, but if you want the address, those 5 definitely have to comment. they don't have to comment on the actual post. all they have to do is type "yes i am" when i say "ARE YOU READY?!?" actually, everybody type "yes i am." but i'm especially waiting for the 5.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I SAID, ARE YOU READY?!?

I STILL CANNOT HEAR YOU!

EVERYBODY, ARE YOU READY?!? LET ME HEAR YOU SAY "YES I AM!"

"is everything alright? you feeling stormy? you feeling phony? you're not the only."

2010-01-06T14:57:00.000-08:00

at work my cubicle was connected to another eric's. at the beginning of the day co-workers would pass by his cubicle and say "good morning, eric," which would cause me to turn around since they would usually get to the "eric" part as they passed my cubicle. i would turn in a way that said, "hey, that's really nice of you to wish me a good morning and to know my name even though we've just recently met." my eyes would meet no one's and i would turn around deflated because it's not in anyone's best interest to greet each person separately and bless everyone who sneezes.

(my almost reception of the greeting not directed towards me reminded me of when i first arrived to the city and walked to a street corner and waited to cross with two ladies, one walking a sweatered dog and another on the phone. the lady on the phone was silent at first as she listened to the talker on the other end. she let out a sympathetic "awww..." which made the dog walking lady think ms. phone talker was admiring her dog and his sweater. dog walking lady whipped her head around so fast to shoot a smile at phone lady, but realized phone lady was just on that phone. dog walking lady's open mouth closed, and realizing she'd be unable to talk about her pet, she turned around. i smiled because i had forgotten things like this happen. phone lady let out a few more awww's and with each one i smiled bigger, but also wondered if phone lady knew the power she had over dog walking lady's pride. it made me think about all the billions of people in this world and how making a mistake in the presence of one of them can make you feel embarrassed. kind of sad.)

it's fun to be around someone with the same name, because if they have the right personality they're able to recycle nicknames on you. nicknames like "e-money" and "big-e." one time other eric was answering his phone while i was walking by. he answered by saying, "this is eric" which had me whispering to myself, "yes it is."

these are my brothers, scott (left) and jud (right). scott stole his outfit from the strange brew closet.

if i were to write a note to a baby i saw on the train one day, it would read similar to this:

dear baby,

you have a very large head...but you also have beautiful eyes. there's a chance that you'll grow into that head, but if you tragically don't, here's the plan: get a good group of friends and have them refer to you by a nickname that focuses on your best parts. in your case it's those eyes. any nickname drawing attention to those pale blues will do. it could be as straightforward as "beautiful eyes," or even just "eyes." maybe "peepers." i don't recommend having the nickname be "peeping [your name]" because you're not a pervert and i don't think you'll ever want anyone to think otherwise. you made multiple passengers smile because of those eyes and your own smile, which has me thinking you're in the early stages of a friendly personality. develop that and you'll be good. best case scenario is you don't grow into that large head too soon, because if it takes a little longer i think you'll be able to develop some humility, sympathy, and empathy. let's just say that if you have a physical big head now, maybe you won't have a figurative big head in the future. one day you'll realize how cheesy that last sentence is, but i hope it doesn't cheapen the rest of my advice to you. do these things and you'll go far.

sincerely,

hot lips

not 100 percent sure, but i'd venture to say that the same percentage of the physically attractive and physically unattractive spend just as much time in front of the mirror worrying about their looks. but only one group is walking away with confidence. shouldn't be that way.

of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so it's up to you, but i'm talking about the popular and widely accepted opinion/view of what physical attractiveness and unattractiveness is. i think we all see pictures of ourselves where we think, "man, i'm looking ugly in this one." yes you were. yes i was. in that very moment, in that very lighting, in that very article of clothing, from that very angle, with that mouth open that much, with those eyes closed that much, with all of those hairs in each of those positions, i am/was/will be ugly. don't delete those ones. you need to always keep those ones, because it's all about contrast between those and the ones where you knew where the camera was and you were ready.

i was thinking about this as i was looking in the mirror while shaving my face (surprised? occasionally a weak neck beard grows due to laziness or curiosity. when attention is drawn to it during a curious time, it can be slightly embarrassing. that means i still think there is potential), and while i was in front of that mirror i guessed that with every minute we spend looking at ourself at least one selfless thought never happens, or just dies. exaggeration? i don't know.

after rinsing off i looked up at the mirror and saw a spider on my face which threw me into an instant panic. but it was only on the mirror.

reminded me of all the times i've found a bug/spider on me. i quickly shoo it away, but then wonder how long it's been on me and if it had bit me, because i'm not going down like that. not because of a tiny bite from a disease spreading 8 legged freak.

this one is dedicated to uncle brad and the entire narwhale crew.

this guy had to be listening to u2.

in 2010 i want my rock-paper-scissors record to be perfect. think about it, if you were perfect at rock-paper-scissors, you would never have to be the one to do the undesirable tasks that are usually decided with best of 3 rock-paper-scissors matches. (remind me to tell you about the girl who was born without ring and pinky fingers, as well as thumbs on both hands. in short, she won the rock-paper-scissors championship 7 years in a row despite only having two moves. to her, it was only rock-scissors. can you believe that?)

i don't know how you're feeling, but 2010 could be the best thing that's happened to us in a long time.

also, i'd like to thank mr. jennings for bringing back the flat top. i wish he dropped his 55 with that hair so when they show highlights years from now, all the kids will wonder what decade it was. also, how good is the western conference? i could enjoy watching almost every team and would even be willing to pay $10 to do so. i can't say that about the eastern conference.

"i get knocked down..."

2009-12-10T20:52:00.000-08:00

this is spencer with artax.

many don't know this, but spencer played atreyu in film classic, "the neverending story." he was very good. one day you should ask spencer to tell you some behind the scenes stories. hollywood's insane.

this is spencer and artax off the set coming up with good ideas and goofing off.

director, wolfgang petersen's, original script had atreyu being taken by the sadness and had artax as the lead role, but changes were made throughout the filming process. in this scene wolfgang told spencer to put his face on artax's. even though they're such good friends, spencer admits it was still uncomfortable showing such affection onscreen.

maybe the most iconic scene of the film...and it almost didn't happen! artax would not get in the swamp. as goes the old saying "you can lead a horse to water..." spencer thinks artax knew atreyu was originally supposed to go and was protesting the new storyline.

also, wolfgang wanted atreyu to frantically repeat the "s" word here. spencer's refusal to use such strong language led to the improvisation of these lines: "ARTAX...YOU'RE SINKING...C'MON...TURN AROUND...YOU HAVE TO...NOW...C'MON... ARTAAAAAAAX. fight against the sadness, artax. artax, please...you're letting the sadness of the swamps get to you. you have to try. you have to care. for me. you're my friend. i love you. ARTAX! STUPID HORSE! YOU'VE GOTTA MOVE OR YOU'LL DIIIE! move...please. i won't give up. don't quit. ARTAAAAAX! [inexplicable birdlike sound of pain and sadness]"

spencer was nominated for zero awards by the academy, but this scene causes me to beg to differ. it did land him a tv role as jamie in 1986's, "casebusters."

life can be funny. when old friends leave us, we sometimes wake up to new friends. and...

...new friends can fly!

but we will never forget our old friends.

we tip our hats to one of our deepthoughtsandlove founding fathers and one of america's greatest guys, spencer karl rowan, for working hard and getting into ucla, unlv, uop, and san antonio's dental school. he will be attending all of them in an unspecified order.

"find me in my mitsubishi, eatin' sushi, bumpin' fugees."

2009-12-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

i was sitting in a downtown train with two seats between me and the closest person to my left. i was listening to fugees and it was connecting with me. a woman boarded the train and sat in the seat next to me. i wasn't annoyed by this, because she had a choice and she chose me. personal victory. she either liked me better or was less creeped out. there is no other explanation. i'm going to add that she was a bigger lady, which wasn't bad at all, but meant she was overlapping onto my seat quite a bit which kind of explains why i wanted to put my head on her shoulder and take 5. she gave off a good vibe which allowed for these thoughts..

the next stop, a big man boarded and sat to the right of me and the reflection in the window across from us made me smile. heavy beats in my ears and big bodies to my left and right. if you don't fight it, the movement of the train will make your head nod and that added to my fun.

my favorite part of this trip was coming to the next stop and looking out the window to see a big poster advertising andrea bocelli's new christmas album. there was this guy leaning against the wall with his back against the poster and laughing at something on his phone. the funny thing is it looked like bocelli was also looking at what was on the phone and laughing with him. i got such a kick out of the scene that it made me open mouth smile. as the train pulled away i kept thinking about that poster and thought: how great is andrea bocelli?

though physically blind, he can still see what's funny. he finds the humor in any situation.

i wouldn't mind having that poster on my wall.

This reminded me of some cwebb fun we had back in the spring...

he gave fashion tips to mikey:

"now i know you ain't wearing that eddie bauer plaid that you stole from eddie winslow's closet."

dude flinched every time.

cwebb was teaching me how to be clutch in big games, but this is when he stopped mid-lesson and lovingly stared at me, which was confusing.

cwebb caught a big whiff of something coming from ej's direction.

"c.r.e.a.m"

2009-12-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

at least 2 crazy men, or 2 men who were very good at playing the role of a crazy man, have been displeased with the little to no change i have given them in the past 2 months. one man asked for a "penny, nickel, dime, or quarter," all of which i did not have at the time. he zeroed in on me though, and he said things to me that i'd never think to say to my mother or about yours. he was mumbling, but his eyes got his point across. i thought about the dollar bill i had in my pocket and asked the man: "you want a dollar?"

i gave him the dollar, because if you could get a crazy man to stop killing your good time for a dollar, wouldn't you pay up? there was also the outside chance that this man had weapons, giving him the ability to hurt or murder. i firmly believe that my life is worth more than a dollar, and i'd venture to say that you feel the same about yours. and i think that should be enough to keep us going

sometimes i'll be walking down the street and my head will be uneasy and everyone's face will have a look like they want my wallet. would all the ladies and gentleman who look like they want to rob me please listen up - just because i look like 200 bucks, doesn't mean i have it in my wallet. i can guarantee your betrayal of my trust and the physical/emotional damage you cause me will not be worth the contents of my wallet. though my cafe rio card has 4 stamps, i don't have enough money to buy the other 6 burritos in order to get one free. sorry, bud.

"sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will never hurt me" is a boldfaced lie. (i went back and forth in my head whether or not i should point out how literal i made that sentence.) your words can and will cause pain.

physical pain is much easier to put your finger on than emotional pain. "i know my lower back hurts because i had a terrible spotter when i was doing free weight squats at the gym, but why do i feel like a major zero?"

also, i'd rather have someone yell "i hate you" at me, rather than whisper that they hate me to 10 of their friends. i could do without both, but if i had to choose, just yell it, coward. but on the flip side, it'd be alright if someone whispered that they love me to 10 of their friends rather than just yell it at me.

oh, i figured out how to make a cool "r" with my fingers.

you're worth more than a dollar.

2009-12-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

scroll down

the hesitation between posts leads to more and more thoughts which adds to the length of the nonsense which about 3 people read from start to finish. and i love you for that. i love the rest of you for your stopping points.

i'm going to try to do shorter posts, because i've put off my twitter training long enough with its allotted 140 characters per post. and let's be honest folks, we don't have all day. after all, there's money to be earned. so much of it that we're going to need bigger pockets to carry all of this money to our respective banks. put away your bugle boy's and lee pipes and slip into a pair of jnco's, because only those pockets will be able to hold all of the cash.

i think that's why i wear my jeans a little tighter than the average joe. this way it only takes a few bills to get my pockets full and make me feel like a rich man.

shorter posts feel unusual. to have a shorter thought stand alone shows a bit of confidence. to have a one-liner that has the strength to be surrounded by a blank page. it's just passive confidence though. this is the internet. feedback comes in the form of the spotty 1-4 comments if you've connected enough with anyone, and occasionally you will get up to 7 when you get punked by Anonymous (see previous post).

i want you to know that i'd say all of this to you in real life if the mood was right and there wasn't so much money to be had.

"and i'm one step ahead of the shoe shine, two steps away from the county line, just trying to keep my customers satisfied."

2009-11-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

i was eating and studying in the cougareat months ago. byu was holding a dance camp at the same time. i saw an older man with white hair practicing a dance in the middle of one hundred lunch eaters. he resembled, or could have been, ted danson. upon reaching this conclusion i instantaneously thought, "ted 'dancin'' danson" in my head and loved it. i jotted it down for the sole purpose of one day posting it on this blog and spoiling my loyal readership.

he was an alright dancer, not breathtaking or anywhere near it, but i tip my hat to him. here is a man old enough to give up learning new dances, but won't. a man who surely has enough money to take private lessons in a studio somewhere, but was willing to humble himself and attend a university dance camp. not only that, he is willing to practice in front of one hundred strangers. this is a man who's work in the form of acting i'm not the most familiar with, but enough to where seeing him makes me feel weird and i feel like you kind of have to admire someone with that ability. this admiration almost led me to walk over to mr. danson, place my hands on his shoulders, look him in the eyes, and say,

"edward, i must say your presence on this campus comes as a great surprise, but while you're here maybe we can figure something out. there's something about you that gives me the willies, but i can't quite put my finger on it. that's not fair, because most any television and film i watched in the late 80s - early 90s gave me the willies. i felt weird about 'cheers' and obviously associated those feelings with its spin off, 'frasier.' i will say i loved your work in '3 men and a baby,' as well as '3 men and a little lady.' what was that like working with both selleck and guttenberg? did you guys get pretty close? if my observations are correct, according to the '3 men and a baby' movie poster, steve and tom seemed to be pretty close, but the '3 men and a little lady' poster tells a different story. i completely understand that people change and as a response, friendships and relationships also change. i guess what i'm trying to say is congratulations on winning over selleck in the end. i know it's not easy. i also wanted to know if your obviously fake ponytail in 'getting even with dad' was your idea? also, when nbc aired 'gulliver's travels' i feel like i should have been more excited than creeped out, why wasn't i? a few more things. although i've never seen 'becker,' i assume that it's pretty bad. i can almost pinpoint that the gross feeling i get when i think about 'becker' stem from it being a new cbs fall sitcom that received a lot of buzz, but marked the end of summer and the beginning of a new school year. relating to that show, in high school, one of my friend's grandma either hated or loved you and that show. my memory fails me, but either way her feelings were strong. ted, i gotta run, but you are the owner of a lot of money and that is something i may never be able to say about myself. oh, and i've always loved your hair, so that couldn't be the reason for willies."

this story's only about two facts from being nonfiction. first, i never met ted. second, i wouldn't have said all of this to him.

suppose i had really crossed paths with mr. danson. i'd probably say something more along the lines of, "congratulations on all of the success you saw during the '80s and '90s." a response that is honest, but hides so many other thoughts underneath. a general statement that is neither here nor there. enough to make a hollywood has-been seeking validation for his career to go insane.

if i were to really, really meet him, i would probably just offer a fist bump and smile and walk on by, which says "i recognize who you are and wanted to congratulate you on all of the success you saw during the '80s and '90s, but you don't want to hear what i really have to say."

ted would understand. ted would go back and forth in his head asking himself whether or not he really wanted to hear what i had to say. ted would make his decision. ted would want to hear it. ted would want to hear it all. ted would offer me an invitation to make this story a reality. ted knew in just eleven words he would stop me dead in my tracks. and so ted did:

"but what did you think of '3 men and a baby'...?"

i moved to new york city to see what it smells like. these are scenes from central park. i don't look forward to the day when 9 steps become a task. when my memory is shot. when i think everyone and everything is moving too fast.

i do look forward to going to the park with 1-2 friends of my same age and telling stories loosely based on truth. talking about how things move too fast. about how 9 steps is a big deal. i hope one of those friends is female. maybe she calls me sugarbear. maybe we met along time ago, married, and are getting ready for a peaceful exit. maybe she hates when i talk sports with the other friend. talking about how the suns won back-to-back championships at the end of steve nash's career. how the second one was easy with the lebron signing. how amare selflessly agreed to a smaller contract to make this happen. how the suns went on to win 5 straight after nash retired with rubio at point. how they were the greatest team to ever play the game.

97th percentile. we're rounding up on this one.

2009-08-15T12:16:00.001-07:00

brian "total science" boyer took the OAT this week. the kid killed it and we're happy for him. i don't mean to be too boastful in posting this. apologies to all of you who did not perform as well on the OAT, but brian studies hard and got it done. here's to you, mr. 4.0. give him a hand, folks.

[YOUR NAME], you're cool too.

2009-07-02T14:14:00.001-07:00

"LET ALL THE CHILDREN BOOGIE."

sup? i have pictures to post. a lot of them. depending on how you look at it, maybe too many. the next few posts will be a bit of a spring travelogue, because we tried to head somewhere each weekend. a short while back, some of us went to oceanside, where the nielson family has a beautiful home right near the ocean. i hadn't seen the ocean for some time, so upon arrival it was good to sit outside and hear the waves again. to fall asleep and wake up to that sound is something i could get used to. i sleep with a fan on, even in the winter, just to get some of that white noise, but it was good to hear something natural. sounds so nice.

jumping around in the ocean brought me back to the atlantic days on the coast of virginia, maryland, the carolinas, and a bit of florida with family and friends. focusing mostly on a trip to virginia beach when the waves had no trouble rolling me and hundreds of dead crabs ripped apart my less than calloused feet. the days of aqua socks. the same days when swimming trunks contained at least some hot pink and a little bit of the neon green within chaotic designs were worn without a hint of irony.

the pacific's water is cold, but nothing wetsuits can't handle. the ocean is funny, because inside the water is this childlike fun where it is near impossible to hold back any laughter. and you're shouting something to someone and you're trying to be funny, but you're laughing too much and you're feeling kind of dumb, but it really doesn't matter, because mikey just got knocked down by a wave and preston's wearing a see-through-when-wet rash guard.

i'm no surfer. i'm no brian boyer, where all i'm thinking about is having my toes on the nose of a board. but i'm also no stranger to the gnar. i just get my fix in a different way. where brian needs his toes on the nose, i need my belly on a boogie [board]. nothing more gnarly than riding a wave until my dome hits that seafoam. i'm going to say the highlight of the trip for me was catching a wave and looking to my right to see duke of hazard (preston) next to me, and to his right, dr. wave (mikey). it was a moment unthought-of previously to. duke of hazard put out his hand which i promptly slapped followed by healthy laughter. for your information, in the world of boogie you do not come up with your own name. it must be earned. it must be given to you by your fellow brothers and/or sisters of the boogie.

i don't know what else to say, folks. i will say that i thought san diego was a cool city. beautiful temple. special thanks to the nielson family for being generous with their property, especially that wetsuit. here are some pictures. majority are of boys. on second look, they are completely and entirely of boys. majority are posed.

above: mikey listening to one republic - apologize.
below: mikey participating in everything is everything - witchi tai to.

poor, but fun, attempt at wu-tang's symbol.

it means "e.r.c."

the guy with the guitar thought we were doing a photo shoot for his album cover. the album will consist of only 90s covers, and if you want the specifics: hootie and the blowfish, seal, fuel, eagle eye cherry, gin blossoms, and oasis. mikey couldn't believe some of the stuff that makes it in that book, but continues to believe in himself.
mikey was giving preston some voice lessons. it went something like this: "SO QUIET, ANOTHER WASTED NIGHT, THE TELEVISION..."

here are some film photographs. these images were scanned directly from negatives.

don't be fooled by this tough guy. dig deep enough and you'll find a gentle heart.

"wish that i was cool
i wish i was surfin'
wish that i was cool
i wish that i was surfin'
every single day
cool buds and tasty waves
wish that i was cool
i wish that i was surfin'"

-fenix tx

stay cool.

"when the sun beats down and i lie on the bench, i can always hear them talk. me, i'm just a lawnmower - you can tell me by the way i walk."

2009-05-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

so, i've got a bad idea for you. order 2 double cheeseburgers from the mcdonald's value menu after 10:00 pm and measure how long it takes for it to completely destroy your body. my experience tells me the later you consume this greasy mess, the slower the destruction will be. the latest the slowest. i recently was in this situation. looking down at my tray i found myself dangerously outnumbered. the visible grease spots on the paper wrappings were telling of what would be seen and then felt within. after opening the wrappers, i was not surprised at what i saw. the shine of the greasy buns was expected, but not welcomed. i don't look at visibly soggy meat with excitement or pride. i don't love how it melts in my mouth and a little bit in my hand. i don't eat mcdonald's because i love greasy meat, but because of the size of the bills in my wallet.

i look into those greasy buns at my blurred reflection and for a split second i question my decision, but will not be wasteful. i handle it like a man. i eat the first and then the second, crumbling the wrappers as i go. as i exit, i drop both wrappers in the the trash along with my receipt because the damage to my body will be enough to remember this occasion. i don't let the swinging trash can lid hit the back of my hands because i like to keep those clean.

you might wonder why i do this to my body. i've dedicated my last two posts to my poor eating habits. it's almost like i'm saying things i never did mean to my body. "i hate you and i want you to feel it. you've been very good to me, allowing me to engage in physical activity, such as baseball, basketball, bike riding, swimming, so i'm going to punish you by consuming terrible meat and all the unhealthy that's included." it's times like these when i feel like i act in total disregard for my body. because how great is the body when it works properly? if mine didn't work right i would be sad. if i couldn't hop on my blue ox of a bike and make it go i'd be sad. if i couldn't shoot hoops and whatever i'd be sad. if i couldn't move my body on the dance floor i'd be :(
so, i guess what i'm saying is to just be good to your bodies, folks, because they're going to shutdown one day and you're going to wish you hadn't rock'd the value menu as frequently as you had.

also, i've thought about it, and i don't really like james taylor's music. i've tried, but there's something about it. i was eating lunch the other day and "you've got a friend" came on and its sound reminds me of early saturday afternoons in virginia riding in our blue 1984 mazda pickup truck on the way to the dump with garbage in the form of tree branches, weeds, leaves, and so much dirt. it seems like a song by james taylor would always be playing on the radio and then the radio man's voice would come on and say something like "there's another one from james taylor," and then some radio ads, which i have a difficult time listening to. If it was my dad and one of my brothers in the car i would be in the middle and would get punched in the leg by the stick shift knob, or catch a bit of my dad's elbow as he switched gears. we would have the windows down, so that would lessen the blow of the radio voices, but when we'd hit a stoplight the radio would be blasting and i'd hope the next song would be more in the vein of phil collins. i really enjoyed, and continue to enjoy, phil's music. i remember being in the car when a genesis song came on the radio and asking my mom if i could get their album for christmas. this was at a time where i had no cd's, but wanted to start my collection. i remember being a bit hesitant in my request, because i didn't know how my mom felt about their music and i had never asked for any music before. i was still playing with gi joe's and ninja turtles, so it probably came as a surprise. i don't think she took me serious, because i'm still without a genesis album. i became a fan of mr. collins when he did this duet with david crosby. i heard the song before i saw the video, so i'm not sure how strong my love would have been if the order was reversed. mr. crosby looks like something of my bad dreams. he looks good in a humorous way. the reason why i loved the song so much was because i heard it around the time of michael jordan's first retirement and i would think about how it would fit perfectly in a montage of highlights from jordan's career. my young mind thought it was almost too perfect. listening to it now, many of lines wouldn't make sense, but if espn wants it i know i need it and would love to help.

on the subject of music videos, i find it funny now, but devastating when i was younger, when i would hear a song on the radio and picture in my mind what the singer looks like, but then see the video and be totally off. it hurt my head to hear what i thought was cool, but then see something its opposite. EXAMPLE #1. EXAMPLE #2. you expected these singers and musicians to carry themselves with so much cool, much like a young tevin campbell, but they don't, and your pop music world is turned upside down. they're not bad people at all, but you want the book to match the cover and when it doesn't, you just don't know anymore and you need a break. the song comes on the radio again and it's not the same. the big sigh and the switch of the station. and then this comes on.

at least genesis makes sense.

someone got their hair trimmed. the reflections on the lenses look dangerous.

kix and giggles.

2009-04-28T15:31:00.000-07:00

i was at my parent's on sunday. my mom usually provides me with a few groceries before i head back to provo. sometimes she'll surprise me with an unopened package of double stuff oreos. i will usually grab a box/bag of cereal as well. this time i grabbed a box of honey kix, which i'd never had before. i think my all-time favorite cereal was berry berry kix. i heard they still sell them somewhere, but nowhere i'm at. beginning a day by drinking that bowl of berry berry milk gave me what i needed to be a happy boy. but regular kix are not the same. add milk to those and you've created a flavorless chore. to remedy this, when i was younger i would load my bowl of kix with sugar. when i first started pouring my own sugar i would accidentally miss the kix and save some of the sugar for later. as i grew older this accident became intentional as i would deliberately pour sugar into my milk. quickly eating my slightly sugared kix, i would look forward to the best part. i would scrape my trusty shovel of a spoon across the bottom of the milk-filled bowl and come up with a sugary silt that i would then eat. i assume it's like panning for gold. i remember thinking, "is this wrong?" the slow rot of the teeth, the ache of the tummy, and the seeming rust of my bones made me think it was. i guess it could've been considered my favorite sin. the only way to shake it would be for my mom to buy another cereal, but not corn chex, because in this memory "corn chex" is synonymous with "kix." the safest bet were lucky charms, froot loops, smacks, or their generic versions, which already are sprinkled with a more proper amount of sugar. i think it was this sugar experience that paved the way for my oreo eating habits. a habit that will probably eventually prove to be my end. we all have to go somehow, so i'm not sweating it. i wonder if a gigantic oreo is forming around my heart. besides, every great rapper foreshadows their death in their rhymes. 2pac did. biggie did. now the e.r.c. will. i feel like i could use lines like:

"that's just how the story goes, heart stopped - too many oreos."
"now i've got ma crying on maury po-vich, cuz i never could get my ore-o fix."
"at the grocery store, making a list before i start, next thing i know, 6 oreo packages in my shopping cart."
"there's a clog in my bloodstream, should have chased the paper 'stead of oreo cream."

in my tribute rap video i want my whole crew to be pouring out glasses of milk. maybe even full gallons. the end of the video will have no words, just a tiny beat with some piano and everyone standing around looking hardcore and instead of lighters everyone will hold up a double stuff oreo and twist one side off and then hold it to the sky. nabisco will pay for my funeral.

when i'm grocery shopping and they have a 2 for $5 deal on oreos, i will usually take advantage of, as well as the 2 for $5 snyder's pretzels. the only other things i always buy are milk, bread, and marshmallow mateys (unless there's a big sale on life cinnamon and unless berry berry kix come out of hiding). when i'm checking out, the cashier has no less than 4 times asked, "when's the party?"

"like everyday, man." i buy my fruits and vegetables elsewhere and my meat from mcdonald's/wendy's.

fond memories of week nights in my virginia home eating nearly a whole sleeve of oreos, usually leaving 2-3 in the plastic packaging on the kitchen table, while my dad made himself some bread and milk, and i looked at nba box scores and read the funny pages, which were rarely funny. the cookie crumbles the same as it ever did. the humidity made them chewier then, but with that cream in the middle, the fun never stops.

i ate a bowl of honey kix this morning. they tasted like milk.

to the man with the greatest cd collection.

2009-04-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

oh, you thought stussy was dead? get real. we're taking a break from mikey's picture of the day to give a shout out to the spizz kid. spencer, happy birthday.

the iron lung ain't got to tell you where it's coming from.

2009-04-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

02/10/09

2009-04-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

suburban life ain't what it seems.

2009-04-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

what's the deal with this pop life and when's it gonna fade out?

2009-04-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

"super nintendo, sega genesis, when I was dead broke, man, I couldn't picture this."

2009-04-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

posts have been sporadic lately. i was thinking why that was. school probably. or maybe the blog world is just losing her fun. maybe the e.r.c.'s lost it. whatever it was. maybe he fell off. maybe it's the poor economy. maybe the deepthoughtsandlove crew's given themselves to twitter, or given all their energy to facebook. the latter is improbable, because if you were to ghostride my wall posts on the book you would see that the past 2-3 months were dominated by the sisters brown, and those were every few weeks or so. shout out to the brown sisters. the only notifications i'm seeing are "so-and-so challenges you to the name the walt disney films!!! quiz." maybe the e.r.c.'s just focusing on his rap career. ready to make a splash. maybe thoughts are shallow and love is lost. maybe the shifty weather's had our heads spinning. maybe team narwhale's early exit from the tournament took everything out of them. maybe the suns not making the playoffs wore me out. maybe news of blink 182's reunion just wasn't enough. maybe what it was isn't what it is anymore. there's no specific reason. too many lurking variables.

here's what it's going to be. i was looking through the photos on my camera and realized that i have a lot of pictures on there and a healthy percentage of those are of our good friend, mikey. i don't think i've formally introduced mikey to the blogtown. he moved into the boys ranch about a year ago. mikey's been down with the e.r.c. since the virginia days, but has meshed well with the whole deepthoughtsandlove crew. he sets up shop in the iron lung where raw-b used to reside. we have retired the name, iron lung, and now refer to it as the gentleman's club since both mikey and preston bunk together. mikey is a delight with his boyish charm, ability to shake what he's been given, gorgeous locks, contagious laughter, harmonica blowing, guitar strumming, video game playing, back-flipping, pizza making, etc.

mikey has many personalities and names. when he wears a green a's hat a little to the side, he is known as "fun mike" because of his fun-inviting nature and his resemblance to porky on the 90s version of little rascals. after that nickname it was fun to say things like "why are you sad, mike?" because it sounds like you're saying "why are you sad mike?" or "don't be mad mike." those might be poor examples, but for the next week i will be posting daily photos of mikey in his multiple forms and personalities and attach his name. this will help us return to the days where the picture of the day somewhat put us on the map and maybe build our loyal readers' and viewers' confidence and trust in us again. so come back soon....like....tomorrow (deseret industries).

you can read mikey's humorous anecdotes here.

"she said, 'there's really something about you that reminds me of money.'"

2009-03-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

(this post was started so long ago, and has been added to about 3-4 times over the past 2 months. some of it makes sense. it's probably too many words and it touches on a pretty wide range of topics. part of it gets kind of serious, but i hope not overwhelmingly serious. just a few things that were on my mind. anyways, i feel like there's a little something for anyone. some have asked if this blog was done. not by a long shot. thank you to the loyal readers. especially to my brother, nick, because i feel like he's one of the only ones that gets most of my references.)

i was listening to peter gabriel's song, "solsbury hill," while checking whatever on the internet and came across a story which i read. peter gabriel was on loop, so i consciously listened to 3/4 of the song the first time and then unconsciously about three other times, and then i'm pretty sure i consciously listened to the last 1/4 during the fifth time. i do this often. it usually happens when i only have one or two songs by a particular musical artist. artists like crazy town or blessed union of souls. sometimes it causes a desire to obtain more songs by that artist. of the aforementioned, peter gabriel is probably the only musician worth thinking twice about. songs like "in your eyes" and the "city of angels" soundtrack gem, "i grieve," would be welcomed addenda.

(i was typing "cougar" within a text message and my predictive text brought up the word, "antics." having "cougar" already on my mind, i read "antics" and instantly put them together forming "cougar antics," followed by thoughts of cosmo and his crazy cougar antics. i then thought about what crazy cougar antics the cougars of cougartown will come up with this weekend. throwing nyquil-doused pieces of bread into the duck pond? throwing nyquil-doused snowballs at the faces of unsuspecting victims and then saying, "sleep," right after doing so? throwing a 6 pound bowling ball down the lane at fat cats, instead of the usual 14 pounder, to create maximum spin, and then screaming in sarcastic frustration as the ball enters the gutter, maybe even letting out a tiny swear for shock value? It's up to you.)

sounds of a song, especially from the 80s and early 90s, trigger childhood memories. the memories are not always, but are mostly, specific. musical group, animal collective, include a mixture of various sounds that affect me in such a way. they've been making music for a solid decade or so, but i have only been following them for the past few years. i have enjoyed their last 3 albums. their earlier stuff takes an earful of listens before i am able to make much sense of it, but their newer stuff is a little more reachable, and connections are made sooner than later. i don't know, something about the sounds remind me of barefoot, frog-catching fun. so when people ask what kind of music i like, i know longer want to do the whole "oh geez, i like it all..." but i now will say, "i like outdoor-frog-catching-barefoot-forest-campfire-sitting-tripped-out-cowboy-and-indian-peter pan-lost boys-paint-on-your-face-canoe paddling-adventure loving-rock music." the reason i bring them up is because i was listening to their song, "my girls," with good friend, brian, and he said something like, "this reminds me of 'neverending story,'" and i got excited for a minute, because that's what i thought about when i first listened to it. it's got that sound that is "neverending story." i feel like that film was my introduction to weird. "neverending story," "willow," or "labyrinth," or any film that begins with the tristar pictures logo were the beginning of the weird. it's those first 7 seconds with the brass sound and that white horse galloping that say to me, "you're about to watch something you don't understand and that will be so weird and semi-suggestive, but not until you're older and start paying more attention to detail." it was that period of time when they were still trying to figure out what a kid's film was supposed to look and sound like. there were no computer animated cartoons, there were no high school musicals, there were no air bud's. pg was so different back then. very dark and out of control. i recommend watching favorite movies from your childhood if you were born in the mid-80s and earlier and counting how many times you have your mind blown. we have on demand on our tv, so we're able to watch movies for free. you would be surprised at how many kurt russell movie options there are. stargate, escape from la, big trouble in little china, backdraft, etc. i was surprised that overboard wasn't included in the list. i've never seen the whole film, but this kurt russell-goldie hawn cinematic masterpiece is representative of every wasted saturday. it seems to be the only thing on tv during those crucial moments during those late autumn saturday afternoons, when you need to decided to turn off the tv and go outside or slowly let the darkness feel the room. motivation slowly dies with every line delivered by kurt russell. you have met your fate.

out of curiosity i chose to watch big trouble in little china (btilc). you mention it to anyone who's seen it and they'll probably say, "oh, man, patrick swayze was so good in that movie." this isn't true. the only involvement of patrick swayze in this film was his rejection of the script. he was too busy preparing for his role in dirty dancing. this opened the door for mr. russell to act in his most definitive role yet. i remember my brother taping btilc off tv when we were young and feeling weird, but also feeling like it was my favorite movie. watching it in 2009 is a different story. it's about the elimination of 13 characters away from making sense and just raised so many questions about what the creators were thinking. but that's just how pg was. nothing had to make sense. i almost feel like everyone of these films had an excess of costumes so they would continue creating more underdeveloped characters. "well, we have another one of these disgustingly graphic costumes, should we make a creature that acts as guardian of the other creature who is guardian of the emerald of the right earring of the superhuman who protects the main evil boss?" i feel like kurt russell had a lot of say in the storyline, and i'm pretty sure he just threw out the script they gave him and was just shooting from the hip. i can hear the director asking, "kurt, was that really the right line?" and mr. russell confidently saying, "yeah, you don't remember writing that?" i really feel like the end of the film was left open-ended. the script just finished with "tbdkr," which means "to be determined by kurt russell." and what an ending he determined. here's what he said, "alright, i'm gonna go ahead and throw a knife at the main bad guy, but i'm going to miss, he's going to pick up the knife, say something cleverly cliche, weakly throw the knife back at me, and then i'm going to catch it and throw it right back and get him in the forehead. what do you guys think? i know it's super anticlimactic, but i've got another idea to put in right after that will literally be mind blowing. what do you guys think?" at that point they had no choice, but to follow their captain to the cinematic gold that was this inexplicable mind blowing explosion of the least developed character in the movie. unbelievable. best part is the film ends with hints of a sequel, which has happened. i've never seen it, but i'm checking the $4.00 walmart bin everyday.

(i started this post over 2 months ago, but for some reason didn't post it, so whatever. i also wondered if anyone checks anymore, but stopped, because it seems like everyone just google-reads everything anyways.)

i thought about when someone says that people fear what they don't understand, or what they think is weird, or is just not what they're used to, or could easily be labeled as crazy. i then thought about how i'm more afraid when i hear something crazy and it starts to make sense to me.

i also thought about who has quoted that whole "people fear what they don't understand" line, and who said it first, and how it's probably been repeated by multiple people to the point that it could be near impossible finding the originator. then i thought about when we try to quote each other, whether it be words from a book, a song, a movie, a professor, a leader of any sort, or a friend, and how we are rarely, if ever, able to identically recite them. a lot of times they are misquoted, or just not delivered with the same power or conviction. sometimes they are done with more and give more meaning to the words. we put our own spin on things, which isn't always a bad thing.i think of cover songs and how they can go either way, but i think these guys got it right. you're entitled to your own opinion.

as i thought about quoting and giving credit to the proper originator of the lines we love, i came up with an idea. since we're constantly misquoting, why don't we just begin quotes with, "we once said..."? after all, each of us is part of the greater whole. each "you(r)," "i," "my," will be replaced with "us," "our," and "we." even this idea of "we" is one i've heard before from multiple sources, which i won't, and maybe even can't, directly qoute. but these are things i have heard and have affected me. i feel like whether we admit it or not, we are affected in some way by everyone around us, even if we've never talked to each other. body language is enough to make someone feel welcomed or uninvited, confident or self-conscious, loved or hated. my body is so talkative on the dance floor. always suggesting things. i think if we substituted "we" for the more singular pronouns, there would be less of a habit of speaking unkindly of one another and a little bit of the blame would be shared. try: i can't believe we said that. what were we wearing? we don't understand. our head hurts. we are the best. we are annoying. it's our fault. who do we think we are? we shouldn't do that. we can't. we won't. we wish. we aren't. we will. we did. i can't believe we like us. we promise. there are many holes in this one, because i think we all need and deserve recognition for our victories, and we all need to be accountable, but it's not bad to tweak our focus a bit and to stop pointing fingers.

i've also been thinking about how we all want change. i think that much of the time we mostly want everyone else to change. it's not us that is making us unhappy, it's what this person is doing or saying or vice versa that is not letting our lives be as happy, fun, or meaningful as we would like. i think we have times in our lives where we know it's us who needs to change, but we can't, or refuse, to admit it. i think we all want to be better. but that improvement or progression also depends on everyone around us. how we serve, love, and care for one another. it's not just doing something. maybe it's not doing something sometimes. maybe it's not saying that. maybe it's not being that way at that time when you know that they won't like that. i just think we want people to change, but even if they do, we sometimes don't let them. i think we start viewing people, especially those closest to us, a certain way that when they try to change or be different, we automatically think they're acting weird or pretending to be something they're not. we've got these labels that we love to use, and once we use them they're near impossible to shake. i think sometimes we want to be heard, but don't want to listen. we want people to care but we don't. we want to have fun but only can if it's more than they're having. we want others to succeed, but only if their accomplishments don't exceed our own. we can dish it out, but can't take it.

i then thought about how we mean something different to different people and that's not such a bad thing. we won't be everything to everyone, because we can't be. we can be a little bit or a lot to someone. and that's exactly what they need.

these are things that i think about sometimes when i'm lying in bed at around 2:00 in the morning trying to figure out if i really just watched an hour and a half of family matters. my 2:00 mind is so sharp. i have solved so many of this world's problems at 2:00. i will think about how i'm going to make my life better and maybe someone's around me. i am full of so much resolve. when i wake up i am going to say and do specific things to certain people and they are going to react in specific ways that go according to my specific plans. i would like to give an example now. try this on for size: problem - world hunger. solution - pb&j. everyone will eat pb&j. all over the world. that's all we will eat. starting now. our children will no longer be eating anything but bread, peanut butter, and jam. we will finish whatever food we have left, but when it's gone, it's gone. for those allergic to peanut butter there will be substitutes. my 2:00 mind assumes no one has strawberry jam allergies. that would be too unfortunate. if such allergies are possible, then they will be eating only pb sandwiches, and those with peanut allergies have the option to eat just j sandwiches. think about this plan. no holes in it, right? right. i know what you're thinking: "don't we need more than just pb&j?" the answer's no. sure, life expectancy would drastically drop, but look at us, we've leveled the hunger playing field. everyone gets to play on the field with equal strength. with life expectancy dropping, we will take more advantage of the now, because we don't have time to think about the past and the future's coming way too fast to even know where to begin to think about what to do. relationships will be more meaningful, procrastination would be weakened, and everyone will happily eat away hunger to a pb&j fixed to their liking. i choose the sweaty-summer trip to dc with cousins-smushed by an apple-looks like it's bruised, but it's just the jam bleeding through the smashed bread-room temperature or warmer pb&j. that's what i'm into.

i'm in the lrc on byu's campus and there is a large bug flying around. i've been following it around, because i get all shifty and bothered when a bug lands on me. mostly just indoors. the funny thing is i was following it with my eyes and i saw it swoop down towards two kids to the right of me. i felt like it would spend some time over there and then i saw it crawling on his head. not even kidding, folks. he was talking to his friend and obviously felt it and just went with his whole hand and put it right over top. it's been the most thrilling event of the day. i don't think the bug is dead, but it's injured. what was the little guy doing inside anyways? inside is stress. the weather's been "messing with my focus" beautiful this week. it's days like these when i can't decide whether there's too much kool-aid in my bloodstream, or too much blood in my kool-aidstream.

here are some film photographs i took a long time ago with a canon ae-1 camera.

tons has happened since i last posted anything. some pretty wild things, but the best is nick and shannon got married. so long ago. they're great together. they're some cool dudes.

it's good to be back.

2008-12-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

All of us have experienced finals in the testing center. Very comfortable. Everybody makes themselves very comfortable. But why not? We’re all in there for hours. That probably explains the very strange smell in that room.. We’ve all done it. We’re in the middle of a test and we feel the bubbles of air begin to circulate within us. We might even be stressing a little bit, and who wants to be courteous under the pressures of stress. Besides, it’s all about comfort. And so it comes out. Oops. I take another deep breath and realize that there’s got to be something more to the smell, but then I figure it out. Perspiration. Everyone perspires when they’re stressing. At this point during my test I feel that my performance will be optimized if I take a little break. Usually I just get a drink of water, but I had already asked to use the restroom once and I didn’t want to have to do it again. It’s weird now that they follow you to the bathroom, so instead I just walked along the back wall and counted the chairs. I figured there were about 840 seats—all of them occupied. “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” I chuckled to myself, literally. I wondered if the girl who was wearing that shirt had a very dominant father growing up. Or maybe it was just a cheesy shirt she wore to justify some sort of self-inflicted suffering. Or maybe it was the only clean shirt she had when she woke up that morning. I don’t know. I sat back down. From then on I took my test one question at a time. With the room full, there were so many people to look at, male and female, beautiful and spiritually minded. I handed my test in. I always feel like I’m giving those testing center employees something valuable when I give them my test. It’s proof of all the time I put into studying, but they don’t care. Whatever.

When I left the testing center for the last time of the week I didn’t feel any different. Even now as I’m riding in the car back to California I keep on thinking that I should feel some sort of relief, but I don’t. I think it might be because things have slowly been changing with me over the past several months. I have been changing. School is the means to an end. “I will proceed to do a marvelous work …even a marvelous work and a wonder.” I feel like that applies to us individually, to the entire House of Israel, and to God’s children collectively.

something you might not know about me.....

2008-11-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

is that i had the opportunity to act on the cartoon, "fat albert." you also probably didn't know that the cartoon used to only be called "the cosby kids." i was an up-and-coming animated actor with big dreams. this was only the beginning. i was getting offers for roles in the not yet released spiderman series, and there were even talks with jim henson about becoming the new male nanny on muppet babies. he told me i had the legs for the part and would only need some white socks with green stripes and some purple shoes. big things were happening.

i remember showing up early to the set of "the cosby kids." i was the first to arrive. we were having our first photo shoot with the majority of the cast. i was very excited to say the least. i got to the dressing room and there was a rack of clothes with a note that read "wear whatever feels right." i put on a red sweatshirt over a white collared shirt with some blue jeans. i was looking fresh to death and feeling confident. i walked out of my dressing room and down the hall, passing weird harold and dumb donald. high-5's were exchanged as weird harold stated, "e.r.c., you are looking f-r-e-s-h, that's fresh, fresh, fresh." i thanked him and continued my strut until running into albert. "e.r.c., i see you strutting. with good reason! those threads are as dope as i've seen! like the nicest gear these eyes have witnessed. like......." he went on with that until i interrupted, "hey, hey, hey," in a low voice, and then, "thanks, albert, but that's enough of that." he said, "hey, hey, hey. i like that. i like how you said that, e.r.c." i smiled and nodded, but felt weird about his overjoyed expression. as i continued walking i could hear albert borderline yelling, "hey, hey, hey," in the faces of mushmouth, bucky, and rudy as he passed. i heard rudy's reply. "hey, albert, i really like how you said that, you should say that every time you see anyone. that should be your thing." "great idea, rudy. i'm going to say that all of the time. i'm going to get right in everyone's face and i'm going to say it." he has been true to his word ever since. this didn't bug me at the time. "hey, hey, hey," didn't really fit my personality or body type. it does bug me thinking about the millions of dollars fat albert was seeing because of my idea. i wouldn't mind a slice of that, naw mean?

as the morning went on i was just shooting the breeze with the cast and crew. everyone but albert was present and ready for the shoot. i had to excuse myself to the restroom for a minute or two and upon returning i found everyone surrounding albert, laughing about the "hey, hey, hey," he had recently greeted them with. they slowly moved away from him and i could not believe what i saw. albert was wearing the same clothes i was. my jaw flabbergastingly dropped. was he serious? "hey, hey, hey, where've ya been, e.r.c.? we've been waiting for ya?" everyone was staring, and then out of nowhere rudy bumped his gums, "he went to his dressing room to jack your style, albert." this accusation created for a bit of frenzy amongst the cast. i was bugging and ready to spaz on everyone, but then i remembered weird harold had complimented me on my outfit earlier, so i said, "you serious? i was rocking this way before albert. isn't that right, harold?" weird harold hesitated, shrugged his shoulders and didn't even try to save me from being thrown under the bus. upset, i wanted to spit, to cry, to vomit in no particular order, and then i felt nothing.

this explains why i'm standing expressionless in the picture. that is the look of a man who is numb. a man who has been wronged. a man who has realized that even cartoon dreams come to an end. the photographer tried to get me to jump and smile several times. that one was the best we could do. at one point i removed my red sweatshirt, and eventually my white shirt and sat on the ground bare chested and defeated. i reached the point where nothing mattered and no one could say anything that would keep my shirt on. i left before the photographer was finished, but at that point no one cared. i think there was an unspoken understanding that i wasn't coming back, and i never did.

do i regret walking away? not really. i've tried not to think about it, but i feel like talking about here has helped the very slow healing process. i won't lie, every time i watch "ghost dad" (which is often) the sight of bill cosby traveling through a phone line to put a scare in his daughter's boyfriend gets me thinking about what might have been. 1990 films were so bizarre. cartoons are bizarre. animated actors aren't as happy as they seem. they are not immune to physical and emotional pain contrary to the portrayals of every animated injury and speedy recovery. the bumps and bruises remain beneath the artistry of heartless animators. they put you through a tiny hell, but don't dare sketch pockets deep enough to hold a single penny.

now, i'm not writing this to bash on my man, albert. that was never my intention. we're different. he was able to handle the pressure of the business, and did so with such grace. i find his minisodes on youtube to be of much educational value. in the minisode, "have a heart" we learn how to perform cpr. if albert did not pay attention during cpr lessons, he would not have been able to properly perform mouth-to-mouth on ol' mudfoot. in "busted" the kids are arrested for being in a car with an unlicensed driver. they are taken to prison and learn what it's all about. i found this one to be slightly inappropriate. there is also one called "cosby's classics" where bill tells the gang some tall tales. this can be taken quite literally as he tells the story of fictional character, paul bunyan, and even more fictional character, brimstone bill. they encounter the villainous wild river, twister. they want to literally straighten out this winding river and are able to do so after brimstone handcrafts a harness for babe, the trusty blue ox. i found this one to be imaginative and thrilling.

bless bill cosby.

i have been typing this rather long post in the computer lab of the spencer w. kimball tower. i recently removed my shoes to reach a higher level of comfort and would now like to put them back on and leave. there is a woman across from me who is seated at the computer next to her husband and they are in the beginning stages of an argument about the content of the husband's paper, which the wife is proofreading. it seems as though the husband is not taking kindly to the constructive criticism of his wife, and she doesn't seem to love his reactions. the reason i share this is because the wife's feet are very much on one of my shoes. she seems to have mistaken it as part of the computer desk. i fear that retrieving the shoe from beneath her feet will only escalate an already rather heated, unhealthy verbal bout. i just made small eye contact with the wife, but enough to make me feel like she knows that i can hear them and have been listening. i feel as though this occurrence has caused her to move her legs from a stretched, to a more ready position, releasing my shoe and allowing me to make my exit in a more comfortable manner.

as for my comparatively long hiatus, i do not apologize. i felt like it was necessary and appropriate to honor brother nick hales for nearly two months.

i would also like to publicly wish my father, Brent Cottrell, a happy birthday. he is a wonderful father, and a great example. i did not dedicate an entire blog post to saying why he is great, because i feel that would not fit with the less than serious tone of the current ramblings and comical/sarcastic playfulness of this post. that is not to discount this post as untruth in its entirety, there is more fact than fiction. i will no longer use this blog as a forum for birthday wishes and dedications as frequently as has been done in the recent past. such wishes will be done in a more private manner, not to say that the already expressed love and compliments were a passing fad or meaningless. all were real and true and i hope you could feel that.

stay blessed and encouraged.

"just like the diamond cutter, you never saw it coming!" - diamond dallas page

2008-10-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to our friend, nick hales. he is the brother of thales20000000 and one of six people who visit us here at deepthoughtsandlove, and i feel it would be a terrible thing not to recognize this young man on his day. i've never seen him play, but i hear he is a tremendous basketballer. i hear they call him "n-haler" on the court, which is much like inhaler, only lacking the "i." they call him this because his moves are so spectacular and breathtaking, they make the entire audience say, "i can't breathe, i can't breathe, i can't breathe," reaching for the nearest inhaler. this nickname is also applicable to his n-tense rebounding ability. he is a rebound monster, n-haling the ball as soon as it leaves the rim. i call him n-haler because one night he stayed with us and ate 2 fistfuls of pistachios so fast, he nearly n-haled them. i know he's smart because i also heard that he kill'd it on the ACT. i think he got like a 49 or something. 49 out of a possible 36. he's a talented musician, a wonderful house guest, and an active participant during joke-telling. he's a pleasure to have around. nick hales, everybody. you'd like him. he seems like your type.

2008-09-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went up to Bountiful for cousins' dinner and Aunt Barbara and Uncle Reid's house. On the way up we stopped to pick up my Grandma Homer. I remember coming to Utah or Idaho when I was younger I always felt like our family was the odd ones out because we all called her Grandma Homer while all of the other cousins called her Nana. I remember really feeling like I was part of the Homer family after I had returned from my mission because I made the switch--I started calling her Nana. Anyway, on the way up to Bountiful I looked over to see what was written on a piece of paper Nana had in her hands. I saw my name along with the names of her other grandchildren who were in the car. About a decade ago she suffered a stroke, and since then her memory has all but gone. Time is a funny thing. It gives us all of our sweetest memories and moments, but then it takes them away. I think of a quote from a book I read recently:

“To think the affairs of this life will always remain in the same posture, is a wild supposition; on the contrary, everything goes in a round; I mean, goes round. Spring succeeds winter, summer follows spring, autumn comes after summer, and winter comes in the rear of autumn; then spring resumes its verdure, and time turns round on an incessant wheel. Only the life of man runs lightly to its end, unlike the circle of time, without hope of renewal except in another life, which is not bound by limits.”

Last Christmas while Nana was staying at our house, I was talking to her out on our hammock-swing. I noticed a beautiful damond ring on her right ring finger. I asked her if that was her wedding ring. She said it wasn't and then pointed to a tiny silver band on her left ring finger, "This is my wedding ring. Your grandfather bought it for me when he returned from the war. It cost him seven dollars. That's all he had and that's all I needed." I think about the time when Nana's memory won't be bound by the physical limits placed on her eighty-eight year old frame. I also think of a time when her love for her husband and for her children and grandchildren won't be bound by any limit placed on our fallen state.

2008-09-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

i just posted more pictures than is allowed in one photo album on facebook. it was a fun trip. nikki, tiffany, bob, me. cheyenne, boulder, littleton, red rocks, thunder, lightning, storm chasing, drive-in, twister, no more drive-in, boulder creek, raging rapids, air mattress, snake, poison, poison ivy, spider bite, motel, windmill, omaha, winter quarters, the pie konchars, bison, happy birthday jamers, happy birthday tiffany, as plaid as i wannabe, lincoln park zoo, 2 degrees of linkin park, air show, frightened animals, sleeping lion, ellie, karaoke, dance, otter pops, chinatown, the blue line, lake michigan, bikes, similar tan lines, aldi's, otter pops, falafel, michael phelps, synchronized diving, uncle jim, gymnasty, windblown faux hawk, wrigley field, millenium park, segways, locals, so chill, tourists, iowa, mississippi river, fireworks, fireflies, kanye, the winslows, horace grant, sammy sosa, toni kukoc, the big hurt, and so on.

I'm freaking snow white

2008-08-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

I dont think I am so trusting, but I am cool with being snow white.

You Are Snow White!

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone who comes across your path.

Which Disney Princess Are You?