when i've got a lot of exams, when i'm very tired, and when i've got too much on my mind to decide what's what, it feels as though i am underwater. i feel like i'm moving slower than the rest of these kids on campus. i sometimes reach the point where i will do anything not to think about what i need to do. while in the library i will walk slowly to the restroom just because. sometimes i'll have to use the facilities, but i usually just go to go. i look in the mirror and see how red my right eye has become. bloodshot. out of nowhere the air freshener near the sink will spray it's beautiful scent. i'm taller than most, so it usually sprays right into my hair. who cares. at this point i don't. i'm underwater. the manatee, the polar bear, the goldfish, the walrus, the scuba diving man, the dolphin. i'm there. we're all there. i'm wearing my favorite seal shirt. recording artist, seal. i feel as though i've been kissed by a rose on the grave. i like that he made that song. i like that he could never re-create its success so he re-released it. this time a not very good version was released. that t shirt doesn't even exist. i wish it did. on the way back from the restroom i will stop at the water fountain where i will accidentally touch my lips against the spout, where thousands of other lips have touched. this means i simultaneously kiss thousands of people in a noncommittal way, because i doubt they ever clean the water fountains. i just don't think they do. on the way back to where ever i'm studying i might run into one or two people i know. we will chat. they'll usually bring up the fact that i look tired. they will be right. i will get back and look at the computer monitor i'm studying from and continue to burn my eyes out. i will then walk home in the dark. look at some stars. listen to a song that makes me feel good. everything is OK. i promise. i'm grateful for the underwater days. they're not good or bad. they're just days. i like happy days. the fonz is there. and the fonz is where it's at. and where it's at is where i want to be. sort of.
6 comments:
i would just like to point out as a custodian that works at BYU, we clean the water fountains everday with comet and glass cleaner. so eric... maybe you haven't kissed as many people as you may have hoped. haha... have a good one!
eric. it's been a while since I have seen you and this post made me miss you. i love the way you see life.
hope tomorrow you can come up for air, and "katie" made me laugh.
i like how you keep seel over your heart, where he belongs in all of us
i like how "meg" put "katie" in quotes. shes real meg, shes a real person, with real...feelings.
This post made me feel like those horrible days where I feel like I'm drowning are strangely beautiful. Its like that scene in Rushmoore. The one with Bill Murray in the water. You did that Eric. You did it. Its just proof that some people can do things with art and class and express your feelings. Others can't quite do that. Have you ever imagined what that movie would have been like if it had been Dan Akroyd? Point proved.
This post made me feel like those horrible days where I feel like I'm drowning are strangely beautiful. Its like that scene in Rushmoore. The one with Bill Murray in the water. You did that Eric. You did it. Its just proof that some people can do things with art and class and express your feelings. Others can't quite do that. Have you ever imagined what that movie would have been like if it had been Dan Akroyd? Point proved.
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