"is everything alright? you feeling stormy? you feeling phony? you're not the only."

at work my cubicle was connected to another eric's. at the beginning of the day co-workers would pass by his cubicle and say "good morning, eric," which would cause me to turn around since they would usually get to the "eric" part as they passed my cubicle. i would turn in a way that said, "hey, that's really nice of you to wish me a good morning and to know my name even though we've just recently met." my eyes would meet no one's and i would turn around deflated because it's not in anyone's best interest to greet each person separately and bless everyone who sneezes.

(my almost reception of the greeting not directed towards me reminded me of when i first arrived to the city and walked to a street corner and waited to cross with two ladies, one walking a sweatered dog and another on the phone. the lady on the phone was silent at first as she listened to the talker on the other end. she let out a sympathetic "awww..." which made the dog walking lady think ms. phone talker was admiring her dog and his sweater. dog walking lady whipped her head around so fast to shoot a smile at phone lady, but realized phone lady was just on that phone. dog walking lady's open mouth closed, and realizing she'd be unable to talk about her pet, she turned around. i smiled because i had forgotten things like this happen. phone lady let out a few more awww's and with each one i smiled bigger, but also wondered if phone lady knew the power she had over dog walking lady's pride. it made me think about all the billions of people in this world and how making a mistake in the presence of one of them can make you feel embarrassed. kind of sad.)

it's fun to be around someone with the same name, because if they have the right personality they're able to recycle nicknames on you. nicknames like "e-money" and "big-e." one time other eric was answering his phone while i was walking by. he answered by saying, "this is eric" which had me whispering to myself, "yes it is."

these are my brothers, scott (left) and jud (right). scott stole his outfit from the strange brew closet.

if i were to write a note to a baby i saw on the train one day, it would read similar to this:

dear baby,

you have a very large head...but you also have beautiful eyes. there's a chance that you'll grow into that head, but if you tragically don't, here's the plan: get a good group of friends and have them refer to you by a nickname that focuses on your best parts. in your case it's those eyes. any nickname drawing attention to those pale blues will do. it could be as straightforward as "beautiful eyes," or even just "eyes." maybe "peepers." i don't recommend having the nickname be "peeping [your name]" because you're not a pervert and i don't think you'll ever want anyone to think otherwise. you made multiple passengers smile because of those eyes and your own smile, which has me thinking you're in the early stages of a friendly personality. develop that and you'll be good. best case scenario is you don't grow into that large head too soon, because if it takes a little longer i think you'll be able to develop some humility, sympathy, and empathy. let's just say that if you have a physical big head now, maybe you won't have a figurative big head in the future. one day you'll realize how cheesy that last sentence is, but i hope it doesn't cheapen the rest of my advice to you. do these things and you'll go far.

sincerely,

hot lips

not 100 percent sure, but i'd venture to say that the same percentage of the physically attractive and physically unattractive spend just as much time in front of the mirror worrying about their looks. but only one group is walking away with confidence. shouldn't be that way.

of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so it's up to you, but i'm talking about the popular and widely accepted opinion/view of what physical attractiveness and unattractiveness is. i think we all see pictures of ourselves where we think, "man, i'm looking ugly in this one." yes you were. yes i was. in that very moment, in that very lighting, in that very article of clothing, from that very angle, with that mouth open that much, with those eyes closed that much, with all of those hairs in each of those positions, i am/was/will be ugly. don't delete those ones. you need to always keep those ones, because it's all about contrast between those and the ones where you knew where the camera was and you were ready.

i was thinking about this as i was looking in the mirror while shaving my face (surprised? occasionally a weak neck beard grows due to laziness or curiosity. when attention is drawn to it during a curious time, it can be slightly embarrassing. that means i still think there is potential), and while i was in front of that mirror i guessed that with every minute we spend looking at ourself at least one selfless thought never happens, or just dies. exaggeration? i don't know.

after rinsing off i looked up at the mirror and saw a spider on my face which threw me into an instant panic. but it was only on the mirror.

reminded me of all the times i've found a bug/spider on me. i quickly shoo it away, but then wonder how long it's been on me and if it had bit me, because i'm not going down like that. not because of a tiny bite from a disease spreading 8 legged freak.

this one is dedicated to uncle brad and the entire narwhale crew.

this guy had to be listening to u2.

in 2010 i want my rock-paper-scissors record to be perfect. think about it, if you were perfect at rock-paper-scissors, you would never have to be the one to do the undesirable tasks that are usually decided with best of 3 rock-paper-scissors matches. (remind me to tell you about the girl who was born without ring and pinky fingers, as well as thumbs on both hands. in short, she won the rock-paper-scissors championship 7 years in a row despite only having two moves. to her, it was only rock-scissors. can you believe that?)

i don't know how you're feeling, but 2010 could be the best thing that's happened to us in a long time.

also, i'd like to thank mr. jennings for bringing back the flat top. i wish he dropped his 55 with that hair so when they show highlights years from now, all the kids will wonder what decade it was. also, how good is the western conference? i could enjoy watching almost every team and would even be willing to pay $10 to do so. i can't say that about the eastern conference.