Thursday, October 28, 2010

"and i think it's gonna be a long, long time..."

the other weekend, uncle brad was listening to his radio while sitting in his rocking chair.  the song was "rocket man" by elton john.  the scene is called "rocking man." art is all around us.

i watched at least 70 birds fly south the other evening in groups as small as two and as large as 20. and i said quietly to myself, "man, look at all those birds," and i did. i looked at all those birds.

this past weekend i was mowing the lawn and i ran over part of an overgrown flower bush. one of the flowers stayed on top of the lawn mower for the rest of the time. it was the most poetic lawn mowing experience of my life.

i've decided to scratch everything from my resume and just write, "i'm tall." it's the best thing i've got going for me. i mostly just want to go in for an interview and have them look up, shake my hand and say, "whoa, you weren't lying," and half laugh while they're saying so. but for some reason i feel like 76 inches will never be enough. the interviewer will ask, "what are some of your skills." i'll lift my arms and stretch them as far as they can go and say, "i've got long arms that stretch far," and then put my arms back down. the interviewer, confused, will ask, "is this some kind of a joke?" stretching my arms out again, i will say, "you tell me."

i probably wouldn't get that job, but at least the interviewer would have a story to tell, and everyone wants one of those. just a "you won't believe what happened..." kind of story that ends up being completely believable. we just like to challenge each other's belief.
"you're never going to believe who i saw today." 
"try me. i think you'll be surprised."

my story today would be about the guy in business casual who looked at me and said, "hey, i saw that you called."  confused, i said, "no, i didn't.  you must have mistaken me..." and then he cut me off with "yeah, that would be great.  just forward those numbers to me..." while looking at me like i was crazy.  i then saw a bluetooth phone in his right ear.  a bit embarrassed i looked at his hands that held no phone and walked on. man, i wish i had a bluetooth. to be able to talk on the phone and clap my hands while walking with ease would be nice.

i'll be honest, that didn't really happen, but something like it has before. the truth is i did see a man in business casual outside his office with a bluetooth in his ear as i was stopped in my car at an intersection. i watched as he leaned against a wobbly railing, which put him in a visible panic. since i couldn't hear him, i can only imagine how his voice changed as he lost his balance. the noises people make when they fall, or think they're going to fall, are good. the uncontrollable scream, yell, or swear. but when it happens mid-conversation, the change in the voice is perfect.

with all that said, "willy wonka & the chocolate factory" was on tv the other day and i watched part of the end.  the movie's got a very saturday-afternoon-i-don't-really-know-how-my-day-got-to-this-point-i-had-planned-to-do-so-much-more feel to it.  i used to be creeped out by gene wilder (willy wonka). i think it stemmed from my brother telling me as a young boy that gene wilder was hiding in my closet. just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. it was something about the way he delivered his lines and some of his facial expressions. he's all right with me now, though. they still could've found a better charlie.  there are a lot of good lines/scenes in the movie, but don't take my word for it...


Shannon Elizabeth said...

i cannot recall if i told you about the kid who was running against two short kids for president of capo valley high school 2002/2003 (one of whom was pj sanford) and got up to give his speech and got out his tape measure and measured his height and then said "6 foot 2" and sat down, no other explanation necessary. he won.

sodapop said...

should've used that in my byusa presidency campaign.

Brian said...

I love how you told us about when people should believe in stories and then lied to us about a story. Did you want to rock my faith? Try the tall thing though. Apparently it's enough for you to have a happy marriage with someone so it should work in business too.