....'specially when them 20's is spinning like windmills, and my ice 32 below minus the wind chill..........

4 nights ago i had a dream i'd be dead in 3 days. i guess this dream is not truth. i can rest easy knowing the ax is not going to fall yet. i did have a scare on saturday's early evening though. the car i drive has been having some problems. i was on state st. and waiting to make a left turn and the car was shaking like it usually does before it kills. (a fellow lrc patient just received a phone call that i guess was some good news, because she terminated the call and did a little dance. i like that. she was so happy that she decided not to hold back. you can see all sorts of people not holding back in the testing center. laughing at their horrible test score, pumping a triumphant fist, shedding the tears of defeat. i could go for a phone call about good news. i promise to dance.) my left blinker was blinking, the "check engine" light was blinking, and the neon "open" sign on a brazilian restaurant was blinking as well. i was just waiting for it all to explode. i was wearing my undergarments, basketball shorts, slacks, socks, shoes, a shirt, a tie, a sweater. that's it, that's all i was wearing. what a way to go. if i knew the car was going to explode with my body inside, i think i would have chosen to borrow someone's pair of crocs. i feel like somehow those would be able to save my life. i feel like they have some kind of power to shield me from everything that hurts. isn't that why everybody wears 'em? yeah? no? oh, my friend told me that was the reason. i'm alive though. good thing.