"just like the diamond cutter, you never saw it coming!" - diamond dallas page

happy birthday to our friend, nick hales. he is the brother of thales20000000 and one of six people who visit us here at deepthoughtsandlove, and i feel it would be a terrible thing not to recognize this young man on his day. i've never seen him play, but i hear he is a tremendous basketballer. i hear they call him "n-haler" on the court, which is much like inhaler, only lacking the "i." they call him this because his moves are so spectacular and breathtaking, they make the entire audience say, "i can't breathe, i can't breathe, i can't breathe," reaching for the nearest inhaler. this nickname is also applicable to his n-tense rebounding ability. he is a rebound monster, n-haling the ball as soon as it leaves the rim. i call him n-haler because one night he stayed with us and ate 2 fistfuls of pistachios so fast, he nearly n-haled them. i know he's smart because i also heard that he kill'd it on the ACT. i think he got like a 49 or something. 49 out of a possible 36. he's a talented musician, a wonderful house guest, and an active participant during joke-telling. he's a pleasure to have around. nick hales, everybody. you'd like him. he seems like your type.