All of us have experienced finals in the testing center. Very comfortable. Everybody makes themselves very comfortable. But why not? We’re all in there for hours. That probably explains the very strange smell in that room.. We’ve all done it. We’re in the middle of a test and we feel the bubbles of air begin to circulate within us. We might even be stressing a little bit, and who wants to be courteous under the pressures of stress. Besides, it’s all about comfort. And so it comes out. Oops. I take another deep breath and realize that there’s got to be something more to the smell, but then I figure it out. Perspiration. Everyone perspires when they’re stressing. At this point during my test I feel that my performance will be optimized if I take a little break. Usually I just get a drink of water, but I had already asked to use the restroom once and I didn’t want to have to do it again. It’s weird now that they follow you to the bathroom, so instead I just walked along the back wall and counted the chairs. I figured there were about 840 seats—all of them occupied. “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” I chuckled to myself, literally. I wondered if the girl who was wearing that shirt had a very dominant father growing up. Or maybe it was just a cheesy shirt she wore to justify some sort of self-inflicted suffering. Or maybe it was the only clean shirt she had when she woke up that morning. I don’t know. I sat back down. From then on I took my test one question at a time. With the room full, there were so many people to look at, male and female, beautiful and spiritually minded. I handed my test in. I always feel like I’m giving those testing center employees something valuable when I give them my test. It’s proof of all the time I put into studying, but they don’t care. Whatever.
When I left the testing center for the last time of the week I didn’t feel any different. Even now as I’m riding in the car back to California I keep on thinking that I should feel some sort of relief, but I don’t. I think it might be because things have slowly been changing with me over the past several months. I have been changing. School is the means to an end. “I will proceed to do a marvelous work …even a marvelous work and a wonder.” I feel like that applies to us individually, to the entire House of Israel, and to God’s children collectively.
2 comments:
When I was about 17 I thought about joining the armed forces. My grandfather was a marine and so was my uncle. Also my other uncle was in the air force and my brother is in the air force as well. I wanted to join to get away from my family and I heard they paid for college... and I wanted to go to BYU. the armed forces don't care if you are LDS. I was going to join the church too when I joined the air force (that is the one I picked). anyways, it did not work out and I just joined the church anyways.... and that wasn't the best idea because now I can't afford anything and I still can't do a decent push-up... but like my uncle always says...
Pain is not weakness leaving the body. Pain is what happens when weakness is the only option.
i meant to comment on this but i forgot. its a rare treat for you to post, and also...i never make myself comfortable in the testing center. in, out, fast as possible. no eating, no bathroom, no observing. i guess i kind of feel like im in a race. maybe i should try your method sometime.
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