kix and giggles.

i was at my parent's on sunday. my mom usually provides me with a few groceries before i head back to provo. sometimes she'll surprise me with an unopened package of double stuff oreos. i will usually grab a box/bag of cereal as well. this time i grabbed a box of honey kix, which i'd never had before. i think my all-time favorite cereal was berry berry kix. i heard they still sell them somewhere, but nowhere i'm at. beginning a day by drinking that bowl of berry berry milk gave me what i needed to be a happy boy. but regular kix are not the same. add milk to those and you've created a flavorless chore. to remedy this, when i was younger i would load my bowl of kix with sugar. when i first started pouring my own sugar i would accidentally miss the kix and save some of the sugar for later. as i grew older this accident became intentional as i would deliberately pour sugar into my milk. quickly eating my slightly sugared kix, i would look forward to the best part. i would scrape my trusty shovel of a spoon across the bottom of the milk-filled bowl and come up with a sugary silt that i would then eat. i assume it's like panning for gold. i remember thinking, "is this wrong?" the slow rot of the teeth, the ache of the tummy, and the seeming rust of my bones made me think it was. i guess it could've been considered my favorite sin. the only way to shake it would be for my mom to buy another cereal, but not corn chex, because in this memory "corn chex" is synonymous with "kix." the safest bet were lucky charms, froot loops, smacks, or their generic versions, which already are sprinkled with a more proper amount of sugar. i think it was this sugar experience that paved the way for my oreo eating habits. a habit that will probably eventually prove to be my end. we all have to go somehow, so i'm not sweating it. i wonder if a gigantic oreo is forming around my heart. besides, every great rapper foreshadows their death in their rhymes. 2pac did. biggie did. now the e.r.c. will. i feel like i could use lines like:

"that's just how the story goes, heart stopped - too many oreos."
"now i've got ma crying on maury po-vich, cuz i never could get my ore-o fix."
"at the grocery store, making a list before i start, next thing i know, 6 oreo packages in my shopping cart."
"there's a clog in my bloodstream, should have chased the paper 'stead of oreo cream."

in my tribute rap video i want my whole crew to be pouring out glasses of milk. maybe even full gallons. the end of the video will have no words, just a tiny beat with some piano and everyone standing around looking hardcore and instead of lighters everyone will hold up a double stuff oreo and twist one side off and then hold it to the sky. nabisco will pay for my funeral.

when i'm grocery shopping and they have a 2 for $5 deal on oreos, i will usually take advantage of, as well as the 2 for $5 snyder's pretzels. the only other things i always buy are milk, bread, and marshmallow mateys (unless there's a big sale on life cinnamon and unless berry berry kix come out of hiding). when i'm checking out, the cashier has no less than 4 times asked, "when's the party?"

"like everyday, man." i buy my fruits and vegetables elsewhere and my meat from mcdonald's/wendy's.

fond memories of week nights in my virginia home eating nearly a whole sleeve of oreos, usually leaving 2-3 in the plastic packaging on the kitchen table, while my dad made himself some bread and milk, and i looked at nba box scores and read the funny pages, which were rarely funny. the cookie crumbles the same as it ever did. the humidity made them chewier then, but with that cream in the middle, the fun never stops.

i ate a bowl of honey kix this morning. they tasted like milk.